A.K.A. Art Linkletter was the consummate raconteur through media. He collected and shared other people’s stories. What made people laugh was his forte and in turn created television shows to encourage laughter. A feel good quote of his was ” things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.” He lived a long, ingratiating and from all accounts well integrated life. Adept at putting people at ease, his pronounced talent. He worked with his son, how cool, spent lots of time in his career discovering the underbelly of what makes people tick. He was the straight man to children and brought out the unposed honesty that spills “out of the mouths of babes.”

He was a belly laugh enabler. “Kids Say the Darndest Things” was a show that he hosted from 1945-1969. It then had an encore performance from 1998-2000 co-hosted with Bill Cosby. Don’t get me started about character malfunction. Anyway, back to laughter.

Laughter is…the best medicine. Belly grabbing, breathless, endorphin producing and free. Sit next to the funny person. Grab moments watching re-runs of Sid Caesar, Red Skelton and Carol Burnett. They were funny and knew it. When Jon Stewart said good-bye a large group of us were dismayed. The Rodney Dangerfields and the Andrew Dice Clays stood up with silly, gross humor- none the less funny.

When Jack Benny cradled his chin with his hand, we laughed, based on postulating talent.

Happy Mother’s Day! My husband and I are blessed to share moments, days and sleepovers with lots of Grandchildren. Nobody creates laughter in us like they do. Not only their silly behaviors or the result of tickles, but the Art Linklater-esque questions they ask. The bi-products of first time experiences, sheer innocence and delightful naivety are priceless.

Last week our 3 and 4 months old (ask her she’ll tell you) asked to see her baby pictures.

As the consummate picture hoarder I gathered a few to show her. She looked at an early one where she has several months old hair. Her startled look, borderline confusion and the question that followed had me on the floor grabbing my stomach. She looked up at me and asked with extreme sincerity- “JUDY- I’m a boy?” I caught my breath, grabbed a chair to help get up and asked why? She then said “my hair is so weird.” Case in point. Art Linkletter, kudos to your renowned production of splendid insights. That interaction added moments of joy that linger and linger. With euphoric recall I am still laughing.

As we watch these beauties grow (8) to be precise- through first time- lots of things moments we get to be young again. So just for today, as a woman who never had any children of her own- but is one Lucky Lady-I say Happy Mother’s Day to one and all. Hold tighter, laugh harder and Shout Hallelujah come on get happy, chase all your cares away.

“Do u know where ur going to do you like the things that life is showing you? My take away song from the movie Mahogany in which Diana Ross plays a woman (Tracey Chambers) who works in a Chicago garment factory. Her dream is to one day become a celebrated fashion designer. From Tracey Chambers to Anna Wintour? The italicized line from the movie resonates so deeply across the board.” Success is nothing without someone you love to share it with.” Last eve I chowed down sushi and sake with a few predictably exciting, “share it with”friends. We so look forward to the catch up ” We listen and help prop each other up as we quickly share our injustices in between sips. We talk about “life and love as old friends do.” A line from “Old Friends”- a delightfully melancholy song that Michael Feinstein recorded. 

” But we’ll meet the year we’re 62. And travel the world as old friends do. And tell each other what we’ve been through. Our love is rare, life is strange. Nothing lasts people change.” The only thing that changes about our evenings is the location. 

So purging is the predecessor to partying. Our mini therapy, amongst us girls, helps us get from point A to point A+. We discuss turning injustices into disappointments- and then just Moving the hell on. To be sad is not to be productive. We stop each other as we perseverate on one of those things you can do nothing about. We chiropractically adjust each other emotionally, kiss good-bye and look forward to our next toast and jam session. New location- only requirement. 

So today think of the things you love to smell. The olfactory system is memory provocative. For me a candle that was just blown out, particularly a Rigaud (reine de la nuit) or Cypress scented. Adore the smell of Paper White Flowers. Love the smell of my sister Roberta’s pot roast cooking and cooking. Oh my, I would be remiss without recalling the smell of a newborn-head to toe. 

Last eve a recurring theme was living in the NOW. My friend is a Howard Stern listener. Yesterday Howard interviewed Rob Reiner. They talked about his new film “Being Charlie.” They talked about the “now” moment as they get older. For the naysayers who view the AARP years as rageing aging- I say phooey. The blast of memories as memory diminishes – oxymoron perhaps. How lucky to be hunting, gathering, collecting and tying them all together. Find your signature. Add the where we came from, bring along the songs and movies and then display your goods at the art show in Greenwich Village.. Btw that’s the Village to post baby boomers. 

“Why are there so many Songs about rainbows?

And what’s on the other side

Rainbows have visions

And only illusions

Rainbows have nothing to hide

So we’ve been told

And some choose to believe it

I know they’re wrong wait and see

Someday we’ll find it

The rainbow connection

The lovers, the dreamers and me”

Lyrics by Jim Henson- favored artist Kermit the Frog
Rainbows and Frogs- “look, look, look to the rainbow, follow the fellow who follows his dream.”

The fascination of the colors, shape and the promise bring a trilogy offering endless wonderment. Dorothy searched for her happiness “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” She learned that after her laborious travels, the click of the shoes bringing her “Home” where Auntie Em’s smile brought her in was her deal.

So you gamble at the track to win, place or show. Aren’t placing and showing winning? First place is optimum but just getting out of the gate, playing your own game and reaching for the Holy Grail is what winning is all about. Give it your all and let the pieces fall where they may. Don’t get locked out of the contest even if there are just a few places left. Make certain you buy the conceptual lottery ticket. “You gotta be in it to win it.”

Don’t judge a situation you’ve never been in. My friend’s Love their dogs. Like in OMG- DOG! Love is love. Friend’s adopted a baby at birth. They threw the word adopted away as it had no “H” for heart in it. When you have grandchildren that had nothing to do with biology and everything to do with “Everything,”- make them yours in heart, body and soul. Believe me they know who loves them- it’s Big, Huge!

Bet to win, place or show on the things you have that you can only imagine you would find on the other side of the rainbow. Winning is winning. Next chapters come very quickly in our book of life. Learn to recognize the song of the male frog- a grunt, a croak in his reaching out to mate. Don’t loose sight of the opportunity in ur path.

Make hay from the scarecrows stuffing. Join the parade as it’s marching by. And– when the music stops find that seat- I see it over there waiting for you.

Accentuate the positive, elimnate the negative.  From the chicken coop, to the Girl Scout troop

Take the lessons along the way, bring them around to grown up play

Learn a game or two or three, come on guys sit by me

Reparation for loneliness with a skip and a jump

Bring it around with a quiet like thump

Support groups and exercise- keep the endorphins in check

Lift your self-up no one likes a wreck

With good fortune and luck playing hide and go seek 

Exactly my sentiments as I now speak

What comes around when it’s 180 away

Will soon be on the forefront

Perhaps a day away

Monday blue and Tuesday who knew

With a wave of the wand and a turn of the page

Let wisdom and knowing plan the next stage

I salute the discomfort- it helps more than hurts

Put on a new sweater and take out that skirt

Get dressed for the party with no where to go

Create ur new karma accent your mojo.

For so long you sat on the fence- jumping when the phone rang- cringing at the indecent and abusive mix up of names in the hospital- and sighed in disbelief as you watched your Dad walk toward you from across a parking lot. Last night your limited strength kept you vertical. I watched your struggle as I did when you tried to situate yourself in the car after lunch at The Soho Charcuterie with Your baby sequestered in your belly- some 35 years ago.Your fragility was worn across your face in such a pronounced, needing to be plucked way. I know your physiognomy spanning our lifetime. Your vulnerability a very embryonic look. Crying on the inside expressed with a flat-line stare.

I pray today you tip-toe toward your recovery from weeks ago. My wish is that you get back to sea level, emerge from the stranglehold of confusion and breathe life back into your beautiful soul. 

You have served as the oxygen tank for your population. Simply one hat you wore with aplomb.

Hand me the tank, give me the hat! I have a two new cans of paint. Your choice pink or red. Choose one quickly- their purpose to paint a smile back on your face. Hurry before the paint dries. Sometimes, maybe the transfer of the torch helps get the one lagging behind, straight thru to the finish line. We all have a chapter we don’t read out loud!

“I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.” The Un-ited Staes of America. “And the world will be a better place.” So ya think? Diana Ross who’s touching whose hand now? 

Fast forward to November 9, 2016. Winner take all? Does the derisive behavior of an entire nation disappear, get swept under the rug? Do the “losers” rally and protest? Does violence, street fights and overall crime escalate to off the chart numbers? Which side are you on Grandpa? Who are you voting for Judy? Babes, grandchildren questions supported with uninformed opinions, just 10 year old hearsay. Don’t vote for him/her they are going to do bad things to our country. Me- crying in the corner thinking is this how far we’ve come? Our children are fighting the fight. Politically, we are the Un-real McCoys. Rhetoric on the streets is negative, nasty and abusive. Does the country need a 12-step program? When do we go into recovery for antagonistic behaviors that we can’t control. 

We had dinner last eve at a favorite restaurant. The place is a delightful Pub which has been in business since St. Patrick’s day in 1967. It’s fed and welcomed crowds of political figures- aren’t we all? Besides the lamb chops being delicious and well known so is Jimmy- the owner. 

We are faces he recognizes and stops to chat. We are sitting in a red leather banquet under a picture of Jimmy with Mayor Bloomberg, Bill and up on the Hill?- police commissioner Bratton and his wife and a woman I don’t recognize. We hear the the woman who serves us say “they’re taking a picture of a picture.” We chat with Jimmy about the picture and the upcoming election.

We hear about the time Mayor Bloomberg flew him in his private plane home to his beloved Ireland. We discussed how Guiliani cleaned up the city, and what a disastrous performance by Dinkin’s. The bike lanes, a personal peeve of mine. Then onto Mayor Koch and how “nobody did it better.” Sing out Carly Simon. We don’t want the commercial to come on as we watch this real life reality show. We segue way to the bar and let our meal digest, our vodka’s assimilate and listen to the stories of the pictures lining the restaurants’s walls unfurl. He tells us proudly how many lbs. of fresh fish he has flown in daily. We marvel at the enthusiasm with which he tells the stories of how he migrated across our “borders” a long  time ago. He “made” it to his happy, successful place. A short man in stature and giant with Pride. He loves what he does and has a return crowd for 49 years. And we suppose amongst the politicians who have had the calves liver, the favorite lamb chops and the fresh, best in the city(we’re told) fish- has been eaten by potential rule makers who may not have “let him come in, sit down and have another.” When does unity kick in? With twelve step program success- let’s all join, form a coalition and put aside our preference to live with or without the bike lanes! G-d Bless America- we need you now!

“The Hungry Years”
Girl we made it to the top

We went so high we couldn’t stop

We climbed the ladder leading us nowhere

Two of us together

Building castles in the air
We spun so fast we couldn’t tell

The gold ring from the carousel

How could we know the ride would turn out bad

Everything we wanted

Was everything we had
I miss the hungry years

The once upon a time

The lovely long ago

We didn’t have a dime

Those days of me and you

We lost along the way
How could I be so blind

Not to see the door 

Closing on the world

I now hunger for

Looking through my tears

I miss the hungry years
We shared our daydreams one by one

Making plans was so much fun

We set our goals and reached the highest star

The things that we were after

Were much better from afar
Here we stand just me and you

With everything and nothing, too

It wasn’t worth the price we had to pay

Honey take me home 

Let’s go back to yesterday
I miss the hungry years

The once upon a time

The lovely long ago

We didn’t have a dime

Those days of me and you

We lost along the way
How could I be so blind

Not to see the door

Closing on the world 

I know hunger for 

Looking through my tears

I miss the hungry years

I miss the hungry years

My dream away movie starring Peter Sellers as an eccentric concert pianist and two young Brearley-esque ingenues who groupie their way around New York City. I had a crush on the entire movie. The friendship between Val and Gil served as the prototype for my best friendships and our shared tuna fish sandwiches with malteds stirred by pretzels. It was based on a book by Nora Johnson written in 1964. The movie directed by George Roy Hill also extrapolated the concept of infidelity. Ah! men. I too had my own Henry Orient in high school. Mr. Schmoltze the Director of the all school musical was my man crush. Loyalty is Royalty. Good friendships never go out of style. Stay in close touch with the friends that touch you deeply. Friendship and trust are synonymous. “We’ll always be bosom buddies, friends, sisters and pals. “I’ll always be Alice Toklas if you’ll be Gertrude Stein. Auntie Mame had her priorities in order at least when it came to friendships. Sometimes we call our friend just to hear her voice. There is a treasured certainty in knowing we haven’t thrown each other out after all the tales of woe we’ve shared. Our discussions so much cheaper than therapy. We paint a picture, create a collage or write a poem inserting a compilation of shared memories. We know we will never “Walk Alone.” 

So did Kelly Ripa get thrown under the bus over Michael Strahan’s departure? Lack of loyalty and trust and over is over. We think of Betty and Veronica’s chasing after Archie and Reggie. We loved the Lucy and Ethel make chocolate episode. Louise flees to Mexico and Thelma drives alongside of her. Who didn’t weep as we watched Barbara Hersey become the wind beneath Bette Midler’s wings in Beaches? How about that bond that Aibileen and Minny developed through bigotry and hardship in The Help. I can’t stop the examples as they flood thru my veins. The truth that friendships reveal are delightfully overwhelming. Blood sisters, pen pals, sorority sisters, bridge partners string together the medicinal benefits of your inner circle. We lend each other gowns and jewelry for special events. We treat each other to lunch in the “just because” sense. 

Then sometimes we sit quietly, say very little as those moments of silence speak volumes about “how deep is our ocean, how high is our sky.”

Bo to the tox and the forehead looks younger

Go to the thighs cause they tell you no lies 

As gravity tugs at our mugs with full force

Can’t look any younger by taking a course

Esteem to the team with eyes opened wide

Into home base we score wth full pride

Our mojo and moxie helps dig and look deeper

We mellow, we chill, we’re considered a keeper

Match up to our egos we know our self worth

We are one of of a kind on this entire earth

Consider the knife to smooth our appearance

We go to the doc and ask for some clearance

We fast over night cause we gotta look tighter, back out of the deal cause we pulled an all-nighter

So Vixen and Rudolph strap into ur sleigh

Ain’t going under that knife

No fricken way

We’ll accept what we look like cause older is wiser

We ain’t going backwards, we’re no compromiser

Let’s call up our buddies who know us so deep

So happy to hear how we’re perfect when asleep

With gumption and courage we hold our head’s higher

Came into our own the seller, not buyer

We like how we look and we feel so damn good

We heard it for sure from a friend in our hood

Please hand me a tissue! Truman Capote fan here. Southern Socialite, brilliant, clever, different and raconteur extraordinaire. Invited to dine with The Cafe Society Set and was often seen having ” Breakfast at Tiffany’s,” with Jackie O. And I quote Truman- Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.- for the faint of emotional heart Passover this post. He lived a dichotomous existence. Recluse by day as a writer and Studio 54’d it by night. From the tables at Côte Basque and Grenouille, dinner parties at the 720 and 740 buildings on Park Avenue he, charmed the pants off Babe Paley and her CBS husband Bill. 

“To me, the greatest pleasure of writing is not what it’s about, but the inner music that words make.”Truman”got” the condiments of life and lived it spicy. His writing was fluid and lyrical. He killed it with a Mockingbird. Was often surrounded by glamour, beauty and brains. Words and Music- from Sesame Street and Shari Lewis to The Voice and America’s Got Talent. The nexus of entertainment doesn’t vary in the writing and leaves us with our own inner voice. His devastating childhood served as the motivation for his “Cold blooded” writing. 

Let’s get busy. Make whatever act you’re in count the most. Add an extra plate to your table and invite that interesting person you met to dinner. Take out the easel, finish the sweater you started knitting or plant the garden with your grandchildren. The do it today’s fall by the wayside too often than not. We are all guilty of this big time. 

The sudden loss of Prince has social media exploding. His talent skyrocketed and even the “Pretty Women” wanted his extra time and his kiss. Ah! That extra time, that kiss- so you think you can dance? Go call Fred Astaire’s and grab your honey to the dance floor. 

Motivate your way thru the matzoh and Dance like no one’s watching. No secret- they’re Not!