Must haves… busting

For Florida winters – a.k.a Black Beauty’s – nyc gal washed to shore. Last seen floating on her own body weight. Dinner overdose – Stomach contents revealed flat breads, conglomeration of happy hour pigs in blanket, breaded mushroom caps and fro yo- Her husband’s statement revealed she never heard the expression fro-yo before wintering in Florida. 

Pray Today…

When the weight of my tool belt is weighing me down I “buckle.” Well not this time Mr. You are Not My President. We watched Ashton Kutcher open the Sag Award Show with well deserved political rhetoric, for one and all. The  award show was laced with cringing words of anger and sadness. Uncle Sam represented a manifestation of patriotic emotion. We will stand with him. “Your way” ok you nasty, hostility filled, sitting on a pile of crap, dysfunctional despot we don’t believe in you. Agree to disagree, ya think? I believe I got my point across, I can go on. Move over cause we will protest our way through the next four years. We know too well bullies in back alleys don’t let go easily. One more punch, one more try. If you’re bated you throw a harder hit and scream to get your point of view across. We will let you believe you’re winning and when your not looking and through elongated opposition something, just one thing, will trip you up and then, just then we will take our bloody weapons, walk away with beaded, sweaty brows and go home where we “all” belong. Run on sentence, my specialty. We are the land of the free because of the brave. Yes, you won this election you won’t steal our hearts. 

8 plus 8

The 8 ball- eight card fit- eight hands playing at the table – 8 is enough- Dinner at 8- 18 is chai – 18th Bettie Ann’s b-day. Eight heart stealing Gomberg kids. One thing the number 8 symbolizes is the ability to make decisions. With a history of parents who got a babysitter and then drove around trying to decide where to go and what to do- I have taken my primordial history and flipped it. Date book in hand, organize the games, get the tickets and not letting ontogeny recapitulate phylogeny. And I quote- Be decisive right or wrong. Make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make decisions-end quote- author unknown. 

The Pythagoreans called the number eight “Ogdoad” and considered it the “little holy number”. Number 8 – let’s make it great!

Pinky Swear

Sitting at the corner of acceptance and denial. “He who is without sin cast the first stone.” Whoever doesn’t have clay feet walk across the burning stones and prove it.

Two steps forward -“G-d grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

We sat around the pool and watched as the kids frolicked and then emerged after a very long time with prune like fingers. There were a group of kids that intermixed with another group of… so do you want to play? Can you come outside and hit the ball? We watched as one of the young girls seemed to be the organizer, making sure no one was left out. “An old soul is not an old soul by virtue of age, but for their patience, self-measure and happy tears for no apparent reason.” TUT– 

Are you going out for cheerleading? What sorority did you pledge? Do you want to come to my dinner party? We need a fourth for canasta are you free on Tuesday? Schoolmates, summer camp friends, seasonal club friends, and the precious bff’s. 

Three’s a crowd. Special time- one on one. Table for two. Two couples easier than three over vodka and French fries. Intimate dinner party versus a room filled with blank, interchangeable faces. Special grandchild time- hey how bout the Museum of Natural History? The craft store, let’s do it. You want a 10 color manicure- consider it done. A pile of mail and you open the big invitation envelope with tracing paper in between, first. Being included, not being left out, being desired, loved and cherished. When the two of us, alone know the words to our song. Love those special friends. 

Please come back, that was really fun. Mi casa es su casa. “All we want to do is have some fun. Until the sun comes up over Santa Monica Blvd.” Thanks Sheryl Crow. We needed that.

Be careful what you wish for-Allan Sherman style 

Hello Muddah,

hello Fadduh, Here I am at Camp Flor-ah-da

It’s not so entertaining

and they say I’ll have some fun if I stop complaining.

I went walking, with Jenny Eliasis

She developed a bad case of psoriasis

You remember Shirley Skinner

We are meeting for the early bird dinner.

All the sales people -over at the Walmarts – snuck in for me an extra dozen urine charts
Now I don’t want this

should scare ya

But my roommate has a bad case of diar-rhe-a

You remember Joanie Hardy

They’re about to organize a searching party.

Take me home, oh muddah , fadduh take me home, I hate Camp Flor-ah-da

Don’t leave me, at the casino -someone next to me forgot their beano

Take me home please and I promise -I will not make noise or mess the house with dappers (bingo)

oh please, don’t make me stay, I’ve been here one whole day.

Wait a minute, it stopped raining

I seem to like the music in the pool that they’re playing

Playing mah Jong and Canasta- who knows with bridge I could become a masta

So dear muddah and dear fadduh hold your horses cause I seem to like it better – I even started knitting you a navy sweater

Went to see Bye Bye Birdie and guess what I ran into Aunt Gertie

So for right now, hold it a minute -Cause I think I might get right in it.

I will write you some time later – if I don’t run into an alli-gator!!

And just you listen up…

Dear cancer- one day recently you stepped your way into our family. It was hard, it was strong and oh so deliberate. You flirted with us for years via one of your carriers a.k.a. BRCA 1- well now you went just too far. Re- think this deal. Take a second, third and fourth look over your shoulder and get ready for the fight of your life. Yes, we are scared, certainly we worry that your force and your power as we have heard is something to reckon with big time. You reared your disgusting head a little too close to our home. In fact you came in when we weren’t looking and you tried to steal our joy and rob us of our well being. We’ll get a grip, hold on tight because this time you reached the wrong family and by far the strongest one of all. Our force, our strength our guiding light takes no punch lightly. Get prepared to go back where you came from lesser than and shred to pieces. 

Yes, we went through angry, sad, denial and a hundred million more conflicting emotions. One thing you should know, in fact- the #strongertogether Bettie Ann spoke of when you were listening from the door you broke into means just that. The fight has begun. Our dear, wonderful Ali will stand up in front and because of your reputation as a dirty fighter take the long, hard, grueling punch, but not for long. We hear you aren’t shy. Well you haven’t seen the likes of this lady you sunk your dirty claws into. All the while we are right here collectively. We will stare you down, spit in your eye and stab you in your heart. The only propping up she will need is when you think you are winning. Wrong home, wrong person. When your punch is the hardest you can give we will get her back up and reposition her for combat. Also bitch while you do a 180 when you’ve had your way with her and turn away from our house- drop dead as you leave. Take a hike out of this universe and never pick on someone that believes in magic. You lost this time bud.

Change to 2018- same time next year!

Raw end of the stick or right end of realty? Go over there and put your excuses in the “Doesn’t hold water bucket.” It contains and I quote – I couldn’t find your number, I lost my phone, I already found a 4th , 5th or 6th for the game, I thought it was Sunday and made another plan, I over booked my week and so on. The victims club has closed membership. The numbers of people who signed up exceeded the space limit. Suck it up, man up or just confront the reality. You’re not my cup of tea, I prefer not to sit at your table, you press the wrong buttons in me. “I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now. From up and down and still somehow. It’s clouds illusions I recall. I really don’t know clouds at all.” Oh, Judy Collins, both sides now, indeed. Lessons come wrapped in perfectly sealed, beautiful ribboned packages. They’re ours for the taking. Too little, too late, no worries. Once burned adages streaming in double digits. Option “Turn it off”- thank you Elder McKinley- shout out to Bettie Ann. The song from Book of Mormons. ” I got a feeling, that you could be feeling, a whole lot better than you feel today. You say you got a problem, well that’s no problem. It’s super easy not to feel that way!”

By the way next to the bucket that holds no water, there is a “forgive everyone everything line.” Your choice to stress less or deal with the mess. Let’s do it Sunday – Om shanti!

When You Go From miss to Mame

Old story new reality. And so the chapter unfolds where less of the same becomes the new normal. Bumps and grinds have nothing to do with Chippendales and everything to do with not falling. We step up our “careful” game and lunge our way to Happy Hour. In the absence of gruesome details, as we see it, so far so good perhaps enough. With flea markets and canasta tables expanding rapidly we hope when they call our number at The Bingo Game of life we hear it loud and clear. We won the chance to be doing what we’re doing. We don’t bemoan our fate at all and we appreciate our abilities to assess the shortest line at Publix. Blessings in disguise shoot out at rapid fire speed. And then the alarm rings for water aerobics and all of the above was just a dream disguised as a nightmare. You’re kidding,”​

​ I hear myself saying out loud – ” they have no olive cream cheese at the Bagel Place?”  One day at a time!