As the notices for Medicare came flooding in… in preparation for…it became apparent that this could be the start of something Big. The suggestion that the bills could get higher as the pace of life got slower. The federal government was going to help pay for medical care. Ok- so as I saw it, this was either a warning to tread lighter, don’t fall and sign up for activities where the majority of time you are sitting. Or get busy, busier, busiest.

I got busy! Put my musings in a printed format, had it published. I cared less about the reviews and more about the accomplishment. Perhaps the accomplishment was caring less. Some of the people, some of the time. Writing is one activity I look forward to as the thoughts pour out of me. Yes AARP, while I’m sitting down. Ira planned a trip, with knowledgeable input from our family to Israel. He took out his Tallis which I’ll be shrouded in when I stand strong with women also in Prayer, Davining, Tefilah, Birkat Ha-Mazon. My wallet now has an AARP card, a Medicare card and an official I am an Author card. I acknowledged my fragility going forward in a positive and delightfully expressed fashion. 

Living without mommy- and then it happened. The fear, the sorrow and the ultimate in never mores- Square in the face, the pain sits quivering. Hey, mom I published a book. Every word had you center stage. I read it aloud to you, as you were the only face starring back at me in the dark. Yes, I hear you now. Wow, really? thank you mamala. My everything!



Nothing better than daddy’s lap- if only they both were still here. The look on his face, when we met up, the sound of his voice when he called me his special nickname- if only they were still both here. When I get scared that one of a kind safety net place, gone to the “if only” column. When I publish a book detailed with the sound of my voice, innermost configurations and musings of the “stuff”- in life. Yes, that too would have been received with the look on his face, the sound of his voice and the seat on the only lap that cradled my pain and exalted my best virtues. Amen Saturday!

Humpty Trumpty sat on a wall 

Humpty Trumpty had a windfall

 Alexander Hamilton was constitutionally correct

A thud like Donald he’d never expect 

Through tweeting and twitching he drove his point across

The United States of America, well yeah, we want a divorce

From this wild man of loose tongue

We will run and we’ll hide

Putting aside every ounce of our pride

We scream can this be happening at noon Jan.20

This is alarmingly serious in the absence of funny.

We confess we accept, this fate to be had 

Our four years ahead portend to be bad

We’ll listen very closely and circumspect when need be

By the dawns early light, O say can you see! 

Last week, during the throws of another one of our coveted “All Girls Nights”- we threw around some thoughts worth sharing. We realized that that amidst the noise of the tiles being mixed we share some pretty interesting realizations. Couple of multiple (really no choice) questions for your review.

1) Who is actually the boss of us? Our hairdressers, our grandchildren, what other people think about us or chocolate? All of the above.

2) How much fun is time at home- with no plans?  They cancelled cool, we will binge watch. So much fun times three- no options.

3) Is setting a dinner table for a party- best part of preparing, lot’s of pleasure, creative and delightful time spent? All of the above.

4) How worth is it, when that one split second not to have another drink, rears through the sound of reason and you don’t wake up hung over? Thank you inner child.

5)- How essential is overlooking shortcomings in friends?  A clear cut version of Important- extremely, unequivocally or important grande.

6)-When you ask a question you know the answer to are you setting yourself up for trouble, repeating old grandfathered in mishegas  or sticking your finger in a live socket while standing in a bucket of water? Answer- all of the above.

We then put down the tiles and broke for dinner. One question clearly temporal.

7) Is Russian dressing best when you mix ketchup and mayonnaise- when it comes from the deli already prepared with relish- or store bought Marie’s brand? Nobody answered, too busy scoffing down dinner.

8)-Our playing resumed -another long question-when we look back and come to see even within our choices, with no magic bullets in sight, do we trade with someone else, or do we turn our “lack there of’s into more than enough’s? We thank our lucky stars that we got smarter in realizing…

In every argument there is a winner and a looser. Know the difference. Don’t push your luck, we should know by now winner doesn’t all take all. Don’t shake the saber rattle.

And when you get gifts by word of mouth- compliments, respect, invitations run to the finish line.

When giving thanks- give back! When you realize you are well equipped in the l have enough department – make charity your raison d’etre.

Back to trying for a jokerless hand!

Assigned Seats! The risk that we would not go through life as family, friends was always there. Small risk as family and friends, we learn, are the “everything” destination.We count on one hand the people we can really count on. When actions thunder louder than words we pick up our Barbie Dolls and go home. We threw the spaghetti against the wall. Some pieces stuck, as were the odds, the rest fell to the floor. Hold on to the pieces that stuck- make a sauce and spread it over the pieces we can claim as ours. We learn who our friends are quickly through joy and more so through tragedy. We get confused when people behave differently than we have when the tables were turned. Expectations get us into trouble. Reality is a hard pill to swallow. So we lick our hopefully not too deep wounds and find a seat that is always waiting at the right table.

We hold no grudges as it takes away from our pleasure. The “so be it’s” and the “let’s move on’s” enter the forefront. We hurt through the hard lesson of lose, in places where winning was our imagined close given. Embracing knowledge is no easier through harder lessons learned just more precious. We are apt not to make the same mistake again. Adage strong- “Don’t go to the Butcher if you want flowers.”

Connected by threads of laughter, endured thru distance and shredded by hardships. We are still together as our paths have divided, multiplied and been challenged. As a precious jewel-worn on tender occasions, displayed in a special place; polished and refurbished as needed. Forgiving, generous and embraced, as its value cannot be overestimated. A responsiblity unlike any other, for it is not obliged through birth. It continues, endures-we hold on and question how, sometimes why? Yet to loose it would mean a huge piece of us would perish amongst the rubble of disaster.

The three’s in life. Three on a match. The I love you’s. See you later. Wait 3 weeks, 3 months, heard that last night. Three friends, 3 couples awkward combo. “Would you Rather?”- shout out to David G. The could be betters, the not right nows and the you never knows- add them to the list. One more time. Bad news comes in three’s- oy. Let it be. How are you? Omg- says so much. Away we go- can you believe, and not right now, use them often. Just one minute, you’re kidding me, one more day, one more hour, one more second. 

Alexei, he’s just 8 years old said to me, and I quote- let’s have fun before it’s World War “3.” You know Judy bad things are going to happen to our country. You heard right he’s 8. They get their homework done, he had to read a chapter book and write a report. They get up early Sunday for basketball, and they worry about war. Short of the days where we had drills and going under your desk was the “drill”-we face the music. The late Leonard Cohen’s, Hallelujah, sung by Kate McKinnon is only the beginning. 

Andy Borowitz and I quote “the majority of Americans hope this decade turns out to be a dream sequence from which they will soon awake.” Shout out to Caren for the introduction. And so Bettie Ann what song do we play after we listen to “Turn it off” over and over? Perhaps we just say “Stop it” – as so many of us wish we could. Just in case we are not on the same page of the constitution – we can agree to disagree.

We set the tables- one for a game of play the other for lunch. Check with Sonos, our unwavering music pal, fill the coffee table with treats, unlatch the door and wait with anticipation for the women to arrive. The day is analogous to moments of enjoyable pleasures we have gathered along our journeys. We aim for cheerful friendliness. With zero ambiguity and the absence of pushy tactics we roll the dice. Celebrating our time together is optimum. Yes we compete but know that ultimately “Everyone Wins.” After our day of play a friend and I debriefed our time together. Her mother, who also played the game, gave her a sound piece of advice. She told her above all to make sure you really enjoy the ladies you sit down with. This is ultimately how I live my life now. Weeding out disappointments, striving for better fits. Merely overlooking much more. We bask in treasured certainty- pleased, proud… Amazed at how good it can be- astonished by it’s capacity for sudden bursts of brilliance. “Fill my heart with song and let me sing forevermore.” Let’s make it a great day!