Please hand me a tissue! Truman Capote fan here. Southern Socialite, brilliant, clever, different and raconteur extraordinaire. Invited to dine with The Cafe Society Set and was often seen having ” Breakfast at Tiffany’s,” with Jackie O. And I quote Truman- Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.- for the faint of emotional heart Passover this post. He lived a dichotomous existence. Recluse by day as a writer and Studio 54’d it by night. From the tables at Côte Basque and Grenouille, dinner parties at the 720 and 740 buildings on Park Avenue he, charmed the pants off Babe Paley and her CBS husband Bill. 

“To me, the greatest pleasure of writing is not what it’s about, but the inner music that words make.” Truman “got” the condiments of life and lived it spicy. His writing was fluid and lyrical. He killed it with a Mockingbird. Was often surrounded by glamour, beauty and brains. Words and Music- from Sesame Street and Shari Lewis to The Voice and America’s Got Talent. The nexus of entertainment doesn’t vary in the writing and leaves us with our own inner voice. His devastating childhood served as the motivation for his “Cold blooded” writing. 

Let’s get busy. Make whatever act you’re in count the most. Add an extra plate to your table and invite that interesting person you met to dinner. Take out the easel, finish the sweater you started knitting or plant the garden with your grandchildren. The do it today’s fall by the wayside too often than not. We are all guilty of this big time. 

The sudden loss of Prince has social media exploding. His talent skyrocketed and even the “Pretty Women” wanted his extra time and his kiss. Ah! That extra time, that kiss- so you think you can dance? Go call Fred Astaires  and grab your honey to the dance floor.  

 Motivate your way thru the matzoh and Dance like no one’s watching. No secret- they’re Not!

“He kept his distance as a way of avoiding “propinquity.” A word I have looked up at least 20 times since I first came upon it many years ago. An immediate definition is closeness.The best example of the word is the mannerisms of siblings. The similarity in how they they gesticulate (gestures, often dramatic ones.) Sometimes represented in their tone of voice or obvious in their gait. The “I can’t believe you are a fan of fluffer- nutters too,” and all the “a ha” moments of recognition– love love!! I am fascinated with stories of siblings and insidious similarities revealed in time. I just listened to a well worthwhile study on the “happiest of people.” It was done at Harvard. It tracked the lives of several men spanning a 60 year or so period of time. It was sent to me by a new acquaintance who I relate to on several levels and enjoy learning about how much we see eye to eye. We connect thru humor and make each other laugh. I’ll second that emotion. Shout out to RG.

The key points in the study reveal and emphasis the necessity of social interaction. The happiest of people in this study stay connected, create connections and maximize time well spent. Avoid “Loneliness” at any cost. Easy for you to say. Alone is not always lonely, unless someone points it out as something overdone. 

Replace workmates for playmates. Learn a new social skill set and share it often. Join a book club, learn tennis ( if your knees can bear it) go to concerts, shows, movies lectures with others. 

Obvious for sure, the reality of benefit often underestimated. As time goes by, hopefully we learn there are no magic bullets. Sweat equity pans out as the quickest way to the finish line. We stand on the line that says “carry on bags only.” We proudly hold up the well deserved sign “No fixer uppers wanted.” 

Last night in smoozing over our game of play- my new BFF took out a little white button that one of the women inadvertently left at her place. She handed it to her and when it feel out of her hand and onto another kitchen floor I thought this button is the message in the madness. My take away is that you can try your best to hold on to people, places and things for only so long. The “meant to be’s,” in the continuance of time, are the gifts. We unwrap them deliberately slowly, in an attempt to embellish and embrace life’s treasures. That button left on yet another floor represents to me the not wanting to let go of the moments of shared games, shared brisket sandwiches and the dorm like manner as “we”walk to our next Happy Place. Wednesday let’s Rock it! 

 

Janis Ian Beauty Queen, Stay away from the girl that’s mean

Your music gathered great success

Helped the rest of us through the mess

When you see yourself for who you are

And your friend’s blow kisses from a far

Just know the kids of now a day

Have much to get thru to see their way

Collect the memories 

Label them fun

Get it going, become number Won

Smell flowers, drink wine

Pay it forward and then

Look around and make sure you do it again

Here’s looking toward Tuesday 

Don’t wait to begin

You’ll be thankful and grateful

You got your vote in

I’m writing and rapping

Getting ready to play, the score to Hamilton

It will show me the way

With tickets in hand 

Of how our country began

O’ say can you see

And pledge allegiance to thee! 

 

What a gorgeous and glorious day all in one.- Each grouping of valued guests intertwined and became Team Bella- the coalition of love, formidable. The emotions were palpable, albeit played out casually and precious. The smoke from the peace pipe shrouded the room like a high in the sky cloud with no threat of disappearing. We all will know this baby, soon to arrive, in a distinctive and personal way.Yes, the day was to pre-welcome Bella Sophia into our wonderful world, in her time. I can only imagine she’s in no rush as my niece is a 24 yr. old Trauma Nurse at a volumed Westchester Medical Center. Her daughter to-be has been observing her Mom in full swing, at full expression for nine months. 

My niece is emotionally well seeded. She shines and sparkles and it began as an inside job. My gyroscopic view of her exemplary qualities fall into the “wows and the aw’s” with the entire population along her path. She always had the goods. We suspected that sequestered in her deep and wide dimples was her secret potion. Her thank you notes were charming, her knees jerk hugs filled with generosity. I always knew her shy-like requests for help with homework, was more a reach out to bond than a need for assistance. Through quiet observation she blended her talent and personality and wove her “expression” into a style everyone on Shark Tank is offering to take stock in. 

My laudatory expose of my baby niece perhaps biased through genetics maybe one percent. She brings out the winner in all of us. Her patients have to believe if they can be saved they will be. Yes, it’s that important a gig.

Then one day the man she loves came along. I can only imagine he, like those who cried at her Bat Mitzvah had a glimpse that her obvious beauty had so much more to it.

And Now on to Robo- the girl in Lesley’s autograph “Granny to be- Soulmate Lesley.” Well baby sister at the helm, progenitor of Nurse Jackie- get out your tissues, pour another cup of coffee, take a bow, then take another. Run on sentences of platitudes would only touch the honor you deserve. Soph did the treadmill and on the cool down this is what she listened to – Hit it Barry! 

“I made it through the rain/ I kept my world protected/ I made it through the rain /I kept my point of view- And found myself respected. By the others who- Got rained on too- and made it through! 

Dear Mickey, she watched you turn the pages as you read the paper- she followed. You always had your hands on her back and covered her heart with your being. Get ready grandpa- she got you a ticket for the rollercoaster. When you get to the top and you see a little girl waving strong know that your baby had a baby who thinks your one swell guy too! 

 

When you know the answer and keep asking the question. When who you will vote for overshadows the job description- the lesser of two… When you reconnect with a friend from so many years ago, reinvent the relationship adding husbands and games. How about easing into the rite of passages with an “ok, I’m ready, let’s do it!” When you install a spiritual app- for the soooo hard to learn lessons and use it. What about getting second and third opinions on how that table looks in that corner or whether the age spot once removed will leave a more obvious scar. When choosing your invaluable “gut” becomes your go to always Modus Operandi.
Attention demographic pals the replacement parts section, now serves fennel tea w/ginger. Look over there two for one knee replacements and a sale on hip joints, ball and socket included. Dental implants so reasonable. Too much to continue reading, no worries we’re good. Right place, right time. At last we can choose to get a little stoned thru the pain, or opt for the laparoscopic way. Our folks typically used their one choice based on one opinion. 

Enter laughing! Turn the beat around, keep your sunny side up, wake up and smell the roses. When you fix the station to Turner Classic Movies and dream about the Cary Grant, Fred Astaire and Clark Gable days you can cast aside your troubles and woe, dream a little dream and spend your time figuring out how Fred danced on the ceiling without watching that part of the movie upside down. I proclaim this Saturday count your blessings one by one day. Buy that new rain coat and hope you never wear it out. Spend an extra buck on the filet mignon roast or rib eye- not on sale. Maybe even put that cherry on top of the ice cream sundae you’re eating on Saturday. 

I woke up in my sleeping laughing and that’s how I will start counting today. Our 3 and 3 month old granddaughter asked me to show her a picture of when she was a baby. I took one off the shelf framed in Mother of Pearl- (no coincidence in the name for a first granddaughter.) She studied this several month old photo, looked up at me and said “I’m a BOY?” From the floor, too hysterical to answer I heard her add “my hair is so weird.” And so with whatever parts we’ve purchased – let’s Enter Laughing because the blessing with no surprise will get you through the night and then some.  

 

Politically correct has nothing to do with this primary whether you Face the Nation, Fox News or CNN your way to the poles. With a binge like zest we pull up the rabbit ears on the T.V., keep the channel set to the station and disregard the sound of emails coming in. 

We heard daggers thrown in a last ditch effort and it was riveting. Now back to “show” business.

My seven years younger baby sister is going to be a first time grandma momentarily. We shared a glorious evening having dinner and watching Tom Brokaw interview Lesley Stahl on her latest publication “Becoming Grandma.” As long time friends often do, the banter was charming. It was hard pressed, to avoid, as the questions filed in that off topic, politically based questions were amongst the index cards. They both addressed them candidly as the 92Y audience sat on the edge of their seats, put tissues away, residues of the topic we came to hear. Lesley Stahl referred to the Donald with a five letter last name. Tom Brokaw quoted a line he read in The New Yorker way back in the 60’s – apparently not a big Trump fan…becomes a victim of the “UFO rule” in politics: at some point , the unforeseen will occur ” and something will tank him. They both pointed fingers at the moderators who have lost control of the debates, by not pressing for answers. 

So within our 60 minutes plus evening the 92Y audience got an interview filled with benefits. 

And now back to my baby sis. Oh, M-G are you in for the ride of your emotional lifetime. The group listened intently, en masse, as one big, mostly happy family. Lesley kvelled, we sighed. The audience behaved in a phalanx like manner through chest grabbing emotions. The sound of middle age biological clocks fell upon the room. The oxytocin (cuddle hormone) levels were off the charts. Buttenwieser Hall has never felt the likes of this. We waited to have our new (bff) a.k.a Lesley, sign our copy of her book. For my sister Roberta- she signed “about to be a Granny- Soulmate Lesley.” I then hand her my copy and simultaneously take out my phone to show her a picture. I say to her “take a look I promise just one.” It was of our granddaughter’s freshly painted nails from our afternoon manicures. She smiled big as she looked and told me she just shared an afternoon of pedicures with her baby girl. With a Rhapsodic glow we left the evening, holding our autographed books and clutching our chests which cases our beating newly engorged Hearts.  

 

With strength and honor you set the stage- you forge ahead and turn the page.You shop for knowledge with recipe in hand 

Your style for dealing with a story not planned

“Get off the couch” you scream one and all

The benevolent despot, at your beckoned call

You have no patience when your words go a wry

You say it louder, give it one more try

Your fate unfolded no script, no plan 

You stand oh so tall, right next to your man

You’re brave when needed

Keeping the fire alive

Another opportunity to do and to strive 

I admire your candor

I take pride in your charm 

And now my dear friend I’m extending my arm 

Through this you’ll get

There’s no doubt in my mind

When determined and focused

You’re one of a kind

The troops all gathered from far and from near

For you darling Linda 

We’re Raising the chair.
                               Ode to our Friend
Reboot and fix the bugs, get your biggest asset back in gear- you hold so many people in your heart, with tender care. Your arms equipped for hugging, your eyes have seen so much- You look, you see u wander, your reach so full of touch. For summer, you’ll be ready to photo shop us all- perhaps with “brand” new pieces you’ll have a “brand” new call. .As you navigate life’s albums please include our great big kiss. For we know our Tiger Weiller will surely sail through this. 

 

I’m sick of winter- and who cares about Charlie Sheen? Is too much binge watching bad for you? Even if it’s House of Cards and Billions? And –one perfect thing is the love between a grandparent and their grandchildren. The fun is FUN- the benefit of those hugs for both way beyond belief or medical explanation- Do we really want to live without all the foods and mustards that cause acid reflux? Be You– that’s the only thing that matters. Unload the nonsense. It’s quiet at rush hour does tomorrow’s primary portend to trouble? So what’s the deal with biscotti? Who wants to break a tooth for another cookie? Walk out of movies that stink – especially if it’s ur picture show. If a Melissa McCarthy movie isn’t funny it’s because she isn’t. Sunsets are glorious and the right before it’s going to rain moments are stirring and thought provoking. Non sequiturs are hard to follow unless you’re on the same wave length. Julia Roberts looks the best she ever looked in Pretty Woman. Always choose sugar over saccharin products. Deal with the extra intake. Find what you are good at and do it a lot. Mix in incandescence, stir up a little trouble and twirl your own baton.   

Definition of Recidivism-a tendency to relapse into a previous condition or mode of behavior; especially : relapse into criminal behavior. Is there a fine line between addiction and recidivism? Let’s consider how popular prison romances are and seem in no danger of dying out. One theory is that prisoners create a literal wall against closeness. Conjugal visits preclude hanging out Sunday morning with Russ and Daughters and The New York Times. They certainly eliminate variegated activities i.e. strolling through The Whitney and eating french toast at Bubby’s TriBeCa.

Delving into a veritable pantheon of theories that depict the profile of personalities enraptured by the incarcerated is a thesis unto itself. Far from the cover for every pot concept.

This week-end I viewed Jacob Ephron’s documentary on his mom Nora Ephron. Oh, Nora you hated your neck and we loved you. So relatable through your self- deprecatory humor- so charming. And I quote “when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” Amen! The converse rings ever so true. When you understand that burnt pot roast doesn’t necessarily taste so good, negating what we grew up eating it, you throw it out and start again. Sensibility does not kick in by chance. When our palates change through the “don’t touch the stove, you’ll burn your hand theory; hopefully we don’t wait for the next ship to come in to carpe diem. The “I would rather not’s” turn into the “I won’t again’s.” We plunge ahead, dive right in allowing nothing to eclipse change. Seizing opportunities and disregarding discouragements our modus operandi.

How many reapprochments fail? If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. When we get sick and tired of being sick and tired, so they say, we invite someone else to play mah Jongg, over for dinner, or out to lunch. Unshackled, we go forward and ask for a second portion. And- I quote Nora again. “Above all , be the heroine of your life, not the victim. It will be a little messy, but embrace the mess.” Let’s do it Monday- I got you covered.

Richard Burton called Elizabeth Taylor his “eternal one night stand.” I croon at the tenor of the mere idea of that. An emotional reverence of prodigious proportions hardly containable in thought. Conversely as reality stands still for no one he played George to her Martha in Edward Albee’s- Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolfe? They were married and divorced twice, although their fascination for one another lingered on. The intermix of hindsight and reality defines “the serpent in envy paradise theory.”

We all have an emotional fingerprint that comes to full expression when it is stamped and recognized by that “special someone.” The state of limerence (infatuated love) is fleeting. It serves as the gestation period waiting to convert impassioned into permanence. If Jack is in love with Jill he is no judge of her beauty. With a fortuitous, a skewed eye we hope that our veneration for our beloved evolves into a ” happily ever after” place. Can waxing poetic last and last again? 

Calvin Trillin wrote a terrific short read called “About Alice.” He eulogized his wife in beautiful detail. He tried his best to make her feel real in spite of it’s hyperbolic style. My take away was reminiscent of “The Umbrellas of Cherbourg.” Michel Legrand wrote the music under the direction of Jacques Demy. The movie plays out in song. The music adds breathless enchantment to the character’s dialogue. I am always left wondering how this would have played out outside of song. I imagine this is one reason we can’t get enough of any media that has a beat and a tune. Tickets to coveted Broadway Musicals – a veritable waiting game. Nothing like a good American Songbook excerpt to get the hoof beating and the heart racing. The fantasy and sighs as we sway back and forth completes the experience of wonder. Yes, Calvin Trillin loved Alice, his muse, that he is quoted as saying “all his writing was for her.” She was described by friends as ” someone who managed to navigate the tricky waters between living a life you could be proud of and still delighting in the many things there are to take pleasure in.”

So “hello young lovers wherever you are.” Getting it close to center in the quadrants of your life is the journey. Destinations perhaps overrated. Let’s do Saturday tra-la tra la!