Go Ahead Say Uncle

Dear Humpty Trumpty
Show us the money
4 years of antics
None of them funny
People have died, with blood on your hands
The country ignored with reasonable demands
Your grimacing and bs-ing is coming to a halt
All of our tragedies, were no doubt your fault
You have punished our country
Secreting knowledge you had
You deserve everything you get, as long as it’s bad
Once upon a time, with an enormous amount of luck
Our fate in your hands
You disgusting F-ck
Your karma has switched and you‘re loosing at your game
Like soldiers at war our country de-famed
The health card you played as if it were a game
A legacy you will leave riddled with shame
On November the 3rd you will no longer choose, the number of lives Our country will loose, The Supreme Court has taken a stand against the tide
The cheers and the glory can be heard worldwide.

B. C. Before Covid-19

We come with anticipation and leave with hope. Time spent with the kids helps to add a dimension of calm to our difficult days. You expressed you wonder what the kids will remember of this time in our troubled world. I certainly pray that a piece of their take away is, mask or no mask, we helped bring a knowing reminder of happier and more frivolous times during luckier days shared.

Is Everyone in The Building Making Stuffed Cabbage?

“Oh G-d” (1977), The “2000 year old man,” enters the Pearly Gates Laughing. Estelle Reiner, his wife said it best at Katz’s Deli, “I’ll have what she’s having.” She was married for 64 yrs. to the controller at Rancho Conejo. 98 years funny, he certainly had “The Thrill of it All.” When Morey Amsterdam and Rose Marie reworded phrases to get the rhythm right on The Alan Brady show Carl Reiner called it a Wrap. So, as Rob Petrie tripped into our living rooms each week on the eponymous “Dick Van Dyke Show” it was really his “Show of Shows.”Norman Lear’s line in Carl Reiner’s 2017 documentary on aging, “If You’re Not in the Obit, Eat Breakfast, was how he lived. So today Carl, we’ll have our coffee with cream and a little oatmeal in your honor. His credo was “ find your hammock and live in the now.” The transition of time in between “ok, it’s over, to what’s next, is when his productivity kicked in. HBO featured the documentary- “on demand” it if you can.The cast of characters, the best of the best. Mel Brooks is hysterical, Dick Van Dyke dances, Norman Lear is brilliant and Carl Reiner’s direction and hosting ever so warm and welcoming. When it was filmed in 2017 they were all Nonagenarians. One thing distinctly portrayed in this work of long livers is that they were passionate and fell in love with lots of things. So Carl we imagine as you enter the pearly gates, we will hear you say to G-d, “so Divine One, if you were commanding a performance your timing was propitious as “The Russians are coming, The Russians are coming”- in this “Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. I will pass the baton on to my son Rob and remind him of the line written in 1963 for “it’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. “And in a democracy, it don’t matter how stupid you are, you still get an equal share.” RIP Mr. Reiner well done!

When The Going Gets…

Dear Abby, I am looking for a little more distance relationship. Alone time essential. Not sure I am going about it in the right way. I figure I can advertise what I have been doing during quarantine but not certain there is much appeal to honed skills in ordering paper products in bulk. I have lost my sparkle, forget about a glow- and pasty and fleshy hold no appeal. I suppose zoom pilates could have been an alternative to my physical deterioration, oh well. I could add to the list, perfected cooking garlic and not burning it as I turned away to take another gulp of my Stoli- hold all judgements during this time in history i.e. “gulping.” We all have our whatever gets you through the night coping mechanisms. I have learned restraint and limitations in I know longer lay like a lump and binge watch a whole season of “Imposters” in one sitting. If you haven’t seen it put aside the time to sit, it was Fun (see Netflix). I have surrendered some of my rules about pretzel crumbs in bed- in a do what I do, not what I say way. I limited my instagram induced haze and have a few must follows. “Onefunnymommy” and “thelesliejordan” are extremely funny, delivery talented. I don’t know how appealing adding Gas-x to my morning routine is but it is clearly my best delivery tip. Fruits and vegetables are seasonally delicious now. Thank you Bettie Ann for getting an associate degree in Gastrointestinal Disorders. All the years of watching medical shows and your thesis on Dr. Marcus Welby M. D. paid off. Your depth of stomach fix wisdom -extraordinary. I could list how excellent I have become in applying my own hair color and how covering back of head strong through 4 MONTHS I have become. Bringing attention to the aging process holds zero appeal even to those in the know. Perhaps my skills at Canasta Junction and Mahjong on line will interest someone, but desperate measures don’t cut it. So as I round out my time with strict “Age appropriate” precautions, I pray for the day when social distancing becomes a choice and not mandatory. When wearing a mask and glasses would be to avoid running into someone you would prefer not to see for small talk and no longer a health saving measure. Foremost, when beautiful grandchildren can hug you from the waist up, while we are no longer on our knees praying for a safe, new normal. Signed #Prayingstrong!

The More Love…

From Bris to Bar Mitzvah in the blink of 13 years. Fast forward two years as we get ready to watch a virtual 8th grade graduation, a wonderful rite of passage. Shrouded in blessings, with open hearts, we add Shep nachas moments. The emphasis is set to Fun and then our time unfolds. We throw in a heaping spoonful of sugar in Mary Poppins fashion and hit the ground running. We are the playful, protective, snack enablers, all the while overseeing the art projects and new Scooby movie. We greet Club Gomberg with the same line each time, calling out from from the kitchen – “who’s here?” We can’t wait for them to come with feelings of anticipation, seldom matched . We let them know all are welcomed, as more is certainly merrier. Our cabinets hold the “regulars,” and snack time begins. On the nights of sleepovers we would close the blinds, and it would be the Stars, the Moon and “Us.” These years add years to our lives, as they add a potpourri of memories to theirs. In the game of bridge finding the right 8 card fit depends greatly on how your partner plays his cards. In this case the deck was stacked in our favor. Our “good- byes for now” are always with the look of “when will we do it again?“ So for today we’ll press the reset button and make it a true daily double. We will put “All our Eggs in One Basket.“

Dear Kindly Dr. Fauci #3

Dear Kindly Dr. Fauci
They’re holding it inside
We really are not certain, where to run and hide
We don’t speak-each other’s language
As the safest way to go
We trust in following info. from those best in the know
As safety and precautions have kept New York at bay-
We know best to listen to the people with what to say
We still have no decisions to keep from getting ill
They have no certain ways, of administering a pill
With phasing up the ladder as a cure is on the way-
The scientists are quiet until they know just what to say
The Sun and start of summer have whistled to be heard
We gather our hopes and prayers and wait to hear the word!

Dr. Fauci Letter Two

Dear Kindly Dr. Fauci we’re here to check back in
We are doubling down our pleading
We really need this win
The world’s in massive chaos
Taken it’s eye off the ball
We need to get back with it
Before our continued fall
With strength and determination we need to win the race
The virus has no limit
And seems to pick on Race
The world is lost in mourning
We’re loosing our grip and fast
With your team in rapid motion, your working it en masse.
Your words backed with so much knowledge, are proving to be true
The virus will approach, the world has not a clue
“I told you so” resonated loudly, we need to take a cue
Your strength based on conviction
We need to pull us through
So again we beg you
With one knee on the ground
Please impart your knowledge of anything you’ve found.
We miss Dear Dr. Birx and all her kind support
You Aced it when it came, to choosing a cohort. We’ll write you back much sooner
As we follow our routine
As in “better safe than sorry”
We will continue our regime.

Gee, Dr. Fauci

Dear Kindly Dr. Fauci

You gotta understand 

We sat on pins and needles

Waited for your command

With your advice and thoughts and knowledge, for a moment we would rest

With Dr. Birx beside you, we knew we had the best

We clung to every word and followed all we could 

There was never any question if we could we would

“There is hope, there is hope

There is untapped hope

 Psychologically there is hope“

The effects of this deadly virus, no one knew its scope

We need to hear your guidance as how to act and cope

With fear and resolution

You’ll lead us to a cure
Our best intentions only
We can bank on that for sure
Gee, Dr. Fauci

We need to see your face

There is nothing less than pleading 

For your honor and your grace

Unleash the information as quickly as you can 

It’s you who we depend on you’re the Man , you’re the Man

As history has proven they will unveil a cure

Please Dr. Fauci, tell us all you know and more

“Deep down inside there is hope, there is hope we call our blessed Doctor “Pope”

Bring back dear Dr. Birx, her scarves made quite a splash

When the world gets better 

To you both we’ll raise a glass
We will laugh as we remember the illogical command
That Lysol would be the answer
With the waving of hand

Hasta Luego

Greetings from “Lake Get Me Outta Here”
I am done -and officially resigning from the planet. Having a yard sale on my terrace- salt and pepper shakers, antacids and airplane playing cards in abundance. A lot of good this all did me now that I am resigning from cooking, ordering food and my addiction to swifter sweeper wet pads. Thank G-d we didn’t get sick, but I think we are shedding dust balls. Haven’t hosted a dinner, a mj or canasta game or had any drive by visitors in my living room, but the balls keep coming. The dust is outta control. It is only two of us here and sometimes one, on the days I check out and binge my way from the Ozarks to the handmaids tale girls getting the crap beaten outta them. So it is an official announcement people. If you were looking to get rid of me anyone cause like in the collateral damage category i.e. I came with the deal, no worries, adios. If you were luke in the temperature dept. you will quickly forget me. For the few peeps who held me dear and loved me, I apologize in advance. I am taking a Pasadena for today. I will see you after my one on one with Dr. Fauci. I gotta ask him how he kept a straight face, except for that one time where he laughed in his hands. I believe the picture of the Bible in the hands of the demonic despot- kicked my can out of the playing field. BH 🙏