Disneyland, Disney World add dolls in wheelchairs to “It’s a Small World” attraction.

They had no more raisin bran muffins left at our local deli so we went to corn, Plan B. The restaurant only had a 6:00 or 9:30time slot available to dine. So yes, we went to Plan B. 

The bus was really overcrowded so we waited for the next one- yup-Plan B.

One and done meager, alternative, are you kidding me easy choices.

Up again early, in a time to make the donuts moment we watched the news as Christina Applegate, (Married with Children! Etc.) received her Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

She was barefoot and being held by her co-star Katey Segal. She was grateful and weepy as she explained her latest diagnosis of MS.

We binged watched her performance in the Dead to Me, tv series. What is touted as her best and funniest laugh out loud work is Anchorman, with Will Ferrell. 

She is a versatile actress. Funny, clever, engaging. We really like her style.

In the everybody got something category, as we drank our early morning coffee and ate our plan b muffin we read the newspaper and came upon the story about Dolls in Wheelchairs at Disney. 

This newly added diversity representing a population of children, who in the everyone got something category live with the physical limitation of getting up and walking to the pool.

In 2019 Ali Stoker caught our attention on Glee. She was the first person on Broadway to perform from her wheelchair. She was paralyzed since youth from a spinal cord injury…… as a result of a car accident. After her acclimation through her initial omg shock , she never begrudged her fate, studied performance art and went the distance, sitting down. 

If anything her disability served as a motivator and helped propel her all the way to her Tony winning performance in Oklahoma.

Ali Stoker has since become part of the #AerieREAL Role Model Campaign. It is a body positive and inclusivity initiative led by the underwear retailer Aerie. The campaign highlights a diverse group of women from varied industries and backgrounds and uses their unretouched photos in ads. 

So just for today let’s embrace our individuality, mix in our limitations, kick the crap out of Plan B —and remember when it comes down to it- “It’s a small world after all.” Make someone else’s day.

There’s an analog for this in life, where disparate events, spread across years, come together to reveal the path forward. It goes by a nicer name, though: serendipity.- Robert Lang

Grew flowers and vegetables. 🌼🌺
Opened bottles and popped corks.🍸🍷
Scents of candles.
Smells of french toast, veggie nuggets and secret sauce. A.k.a. The regular.
Mixed mj tiles🀄️
Shuffled canasta cards-❤️♣️♠️♦️
Did art projects and made shadowbox presents with love.
Snuggled thru nights wrapped in grandchildren’s arms. Hashtag Blessed.
Roasted chickens we ate through the glow of shabbas candles. Challah strong.
Listened to the musical soundtracks that were the backdrop of our lives.
Watched dance routines practiced for recitals. Alexa play -Somewhere Over the Rainbow. 🌈
Built buildings , space centers and parking lots with blocks and magna-tiles.
Binge watched our way through weekends.
Recovered from thank g-d not many surgical procedures. Shout out to Nurse Joyce.
Prayed.🙏
Wiped up more spilled milk then we cried over.
Welcomed friends and friends of friends.
Held choruses of more Happy b-days through more candles then we could count.
Rejoiced in family. Better together.
Sat shiva for our parents- b”h
Cried in each other’s arms.
Had passover seders. Hail to the matzoh man.
Chanukah parties- grab bag presents.
Dressed for bar mitzvahs, weddings and funerals.
Disseminated unfortunate news and made lemonade out it.

And knew all along, through good nights or restless sleeps that this was the “Place We Called Home.”

I just stopped in to see what condition my condition was in…

Game of Bones

Don’t fall the docs all tell us.

Let caution lead the way.

A broken bone
incurs,

Conversations with more to say.

There is no easy fix.

No bandaid lined with salve.

Wearing sensible shoes,

You thought you’d never have.

The bones are the main structure.

From which we dance and play.

The years of “double dutching” so very far away.

So you fix the carpal tunnel.

A slice of life returned.

You can shuffle up the cards.

Feel your finger if it’s burned.

With the femur and the tibia and the humerus intact.

A quick walk around the block.

Once our sprint around the track.

One foot proceeds the other,

Add caution to the mix.

Enjoy this beautiful Thursday.

InLeave nothing left to fix.

There’s a hold up in the Bronx, Brooklyn’s broken out in fights. There’s a traffic jam in Harlem- that’s backed up to Jackson Heights. There’s a scout group short a child, Khruschev’s due at Idlewild- “Car 54 Where Are You?”

Gunther Toody and Officer Muldoon- where are you when we need you? Indelible visuals of their caricatures implanted in our minds. We only wanted them to get back together as partners. Their chemistry was real. My go to is Barbra with an A. “Was it all so simple then or has time re-written every line?”

Johnny on The Pony was a fave, rough housing at its best. Great memory and first glimpse into early on-set competition was watching the boys play skully. Remember flicking bottle caps on to a chalk made skully board? Object not over-flicking–nope it’s on the line.

When the going was good, with euphoric recall, we remember the days of no wine, maybe sweet sixteen roses.

We drew the hopscotch board on the part of the sidewalk that was flat. Throwing our skate key as our hopscotch shooter was the thrill- where would it fall? Happy to land with two feet on 3 and 4 or 6 and 7 (double squares). Jumping rope, (sorry no double dutch here) trading Barbie clothes and discussing what happened on last nights episode of The Patty Duke Show are such comforting memories of times well lived.

A simple worry was that the street light would go on before we found our skate key en route home to watch the latest episode of Dr. Kildare, (Richard Chamberlain) was very cute . We loved playing stoop ball- loosely based on baseball, only we used a Spaulding and retrieved it from the stoop steps, rather than from a batter.

Big favorite was the game of Jacks. We didn’t care that we were often left with scrapes on the side of our hands from pinky to wrist. Bacitracin and band-aids were big in our house. The boys on the block played Stickball, (baseball with a stick.)

And then came the “Whistle.” I think our father practiced it a few times before we heard it coming as a “it’s time.” We did not look forward to hearing that sound at all, and in the middle of a game-ugh! “But Daddy we aren’t done. Please, just a little bit longer.” Denominations of time didn’t matter. Ten more minutes would have done. We cherished these after dinner nightly reunions. Our early childhood friends are still part of us. Now we share Nexium, diet tips and compare blood pressure meds. Just sayin.

The crescendo of childhood memories was getting our baby bead bracelets with the letters spelling our names and encased in gold. Our piece of the sky, indeed. Ok, then, so with resignation and dismay we left the street. Bath time, Dr. Kildare and maybe some of Pinky Pinkham( Dorothy Provine) singing a few tunes at the Charleston Club.

The corners of our minds are filled with the innocence of skate keys, Nancy Drew books and red licorice; never a clue that Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse Five would become the thundering moral statement of our time. Oh, what I would give to hear that infamous whistle, and the look on his face- beckoning me to come in, just one more time. And Daddy this time I would come in and right away.

Happy what would have been your 100th birthday. Papa can you hear me?

Stranger No More!

We walked into our building the other day and one of our doormen, whose name happens to be David, called us over to let us know he has been meaning to tell us something. We listened as he proudly shared the wonderful news that his son had recently become a Bar Mitzvah.

He told us we could watch the service on You Tube and the theme for the party was all Baseball. We stopped in our tracks, wished him a big Mazel Tov and went upstairs to our apt.
We were thrilled for him and confused as we didn’t know he had children or much else about him. He always greeted us with a smile and we exchanged pleasantries as he handed us our Amazon packages.

Fast forward to yesterday at days end when David called up to let us know our dinner, that we ordered was here.

Ah, the Bar Mitzvah. So we ate dinner and sat down to watch David’s son Eric become a Bar Mitzvah. Can’t make the names up for those in the know. We kvelled as Eric read from the Torah, sang along, silently prayed and sent a shout out upon request from the Rabbi to Hashem to help our loved ones with their share of suffering.

We listened as David’s wife spoke about their son and we cried for their pride in him.
Moral of stories, bottom lines, grab moments of pleasure, now more than ever come in droves, especially in these precarious days with so much uncertainty.

So we got some paper, wrote a mazel message, put some gelt into an envelope for Eric and went downstairs to have a “Minchin by you Moment.” This time the blessing in disguise came with a shout out in the lobby from a very familiar face, a real “who knew.” Make it a schepp nachas for no longer a stranger kind of day. We are all a community and stronger together. Make someone else’s day Great!

Let the festivities begin!

Got Game?

When we figured out that the perpetrator was Colonel Mustard who went after Mrs. Peacock with a Candlestick in the Conservatory we knew we were playing games hooked. Until then we had no “Clue.” After several games we got that putting hotels on the Boardwalk Square in Monopoly was going to cost anyone who landed on it a couple of the orange and yellow monopoly money. 

Ah! The days of sitting on the floor with our friends and playing Jacks, scraped hands aside, were so much a part of our “Wonder Years.” The days when getting up from the floor could be done with a quick sprint in the absence of a knee jerk and holding onto something to level ourselves. You with me? 

So many of the old adages are now living at our front door. Cliches that we never got, couldn’t internalize or just weren’t ready for have now come into play with regularity. Fortuitously, they serve as the bettor at our Mah-jongg table and the leathered decorated card turner at our Canasta games. 

More forgiving and grateful with less of a focus on verbalizing differences seems to be our new posture. We sit down and the magic occurs. First game out we adjust our seat, call on our strategy and throw the dice or deal the cards. We leave so much more to chance. No more rebuffing what is, just fact and acceptance feel like the right paths to take. We flinch at the first interference in our game of Life–and in turn almost welcome it. A phone call from a friend’s daughter sharing the joy over their daughter’s ballet recital, is typical. An interruption because the dentist needed to move our appointment up a half an hour, or the bell ringing when the handyman comes to fix the window that is stuck, is how it goes. We pool our woes and share our joys. We take home the name of a good dermatologist and flatter one another when we admire a new pair of very cool boots. We are the lucky ones who have turned happenstance into “sheer” delight.

My parents had an activity with their weekly Canasta group called “Coffee and…” I am now getting that the “and” was so much more than chocolate bridge mix or babka. Yes mama, I’m counting sevens and aces, remembering to take the Talon and looking three cards back not to throw the deck.

I love our “and.” When I was younger and had pieces of chicken, I would eat the wings last. I savored the best for then. I now sit down to our chicken lunch and go for the wings first. I rush thru my broccoli and cheddar omelette just to get the cards in my hands. I know that the real reason I enjoy our games so, is because they recapitulate my parents activity of continuity. Well here’s to so many more days of Mah-Jongg, Canasta “And.”

I spent a day with the director of the longest study on happiness.

5 learnings (that may change your life):

Dr. Robert Waldinger is the fourth director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which has studied the lives of its 700+ original participants and their 1,300+ direct descendants for over 85 years.

It is considered the longest-running longitudinal study on adult life, health, and happiness.

Here are 5 insights from our conversation:

1. Relationship Satisfaction Impacts Health

I asked Dr. Waldinger about the most shocking finding of the Harvard Study.

His response:”Relationship satisfaction at age 50 was the single greatest predictor of physical health at age 80.”

Relationship satisfaction was a more effective predictor of health at age 80 than cholesterol, blood pressure, or any other health marker tracked by the study.

The strength and quality of your relationships has a direct and powerful impact on your physical health as you age.

2. Loneliness Has Real Consequences (& It’s More Prevalent Than Ever)

Loneliness is on the rise.

60% of adults say they don’t feel very connected to others. The amount of time teenagers are spending in person with their friends is down 70% over the last two decades.

And unfortunately, loneliness has consequences.

A number of studies—including Dr. Waldinger’s Harvard Study—have found that the health impact of loneliness is quite dire.

Chronic loneliness has been found to increase dementia risk by up to 50%.

Lack of social connection is worse for your health than tobacco and alcohol abuse, obesity, and more.

3. Make “Social Fitness” a Priority

Dr. Waldinger says our social health should be thought of in the same manner as our physical health—that it’s the result of tiny daily actions that compound over long periods of time.

Make your social health a part of your daily routines: When you think something nice about someone, let them know right then, tell your partner one thing you appreciate about them every single day, reach out to that friend and catch up, plan that dinner.

Your daily social health actions compound. Build your Social Fitness.

4. Check Your Energy to Improve Your Life

Check your energy level after spending time with someone. Do you feel energized or drained?

Spend more time with your energy creators and less time with your energy drainers. Your life will improve.

5. Ambivalent Relationships are the Most Toxic

Ambivalent relationships—those that are sometimes supportive and sometimes demeaning—are actually worse for your health than purely demeaning relationships.

A variety of studies on humans and animals have shown that ambivalent relationships have sharper negative health consequences than purely toxic ones.

Audit your relationships. It may be time to reduce the energy given to these people.

This is just for the moment when we take our eyes off the screen, pick our head up from the daily News and wipe the fear and horror off our faces.

Then one day the sky fell down.
No chicken little warning- the house fell on the witches legs and just like that the emperor had no clothes.

Cinderella lost more than her slipper and the three blind mice could no longer run. Mother Goose stopped singing nursery rhymes and stood by as prisoners exercised around the “mulberry bush.” There were no rainbows and we waited for happier days to be here again-hit it Barbra with an A.

Severus Snape knew that “the dark arts are varied, ever changing and eternal. Fighting them is like fighting a many-headed monster, which each time a neck is severed, sprouts a head even fiercer and more clever than before.”

Even though Tom (Tom and Jerry) was the antagonist, all of us felt for Tom. “After all what good is a cat if he can’t get the better of a rat.” From our own little corner in our own little chair- uh, oh! we spied with our little eye a black cat crossing our path.

And to quote Elmer Fudd in his garden of evil- “Shhh. Be vewy, vewy quiet. I’m hunting wabbits.” Only in that case, the hunter gets hunted always.

Then we ran into Mary Poppins who offered us a spoon full of sugar. It helped the medicine go down. We began to believe again and just like we know pruning flowers helps new ones grow bigger and brighter, alas the Prince of Tides helped our ship sail in.

We turned the beat around, stopped playing victim and got behind the wheel to claim our power back.

If you believe in magic, follow toto down the yellow brick road and know that somewhere between the curtain and the wizard is a place called Home.

When “The suddenly’s” happen with more frequency, we take stock of how to best preserve our closeness through memories. 

When dear, long standing friends show up we double hug, catch up on the so and so’s and order our vodka with lemons to accompany our shared appetizers. 

And so on we went, picking up where we left off, recalling memories that only we remember. Soon our drinks are gone:

“Take care of yourself. . . .”

“We ’ll talk again soon. . . .”

Sometimes we wonder which one of us will be the first to not answer.

Make it an easy on yourself Monday.