The “Early” Bird Saw Her Shadow

You know there are 6 more weeks in Boca. So whad ya do this week-end? This musing is inspired by Brad Zimmerman. And just who is this Brad guy? Here goes. A sixty something, in great shape guy whose claim to fame is that he opened for Joan Rivers in Atlantic City, before the days of progressive wheel of fortune slots. Love those! (Shout out to Robo.) He’s a New Jersey guy, way of New York, schmoozing his way on Florida stages. Joan Rivers one- liner to him was and I quote ” you are the funniest comic I ever worked with in your price range.” We laughed and then we cried through the evening. He is still waiting for his career to amount to more than bupkes. Also, if his girlfriend Amy from high school gets divorced perhaps he’ll marry her. A Zuchen Vey. Brad’s stereotypical Jewish mother is still giving him “what for’s.” How lucky to still have her nudging him and reminding him he’s not a shmendrik. Her question to him now, ” so when are you going to get off the stage and give me a grandchild? We left after 90 minutes, no intermission, yes we used the facilities beforehand. I kept thinking on our way to get some key lime pie and a nite cap, if only he went into his father’s furniture business he might not being standing alone on a small stage in Palm Beach Gardens. His spiel was audible when the forced A/C wasn’t noisy. Vayismir. Getting to the theater a bit of a gantseh magilla- but not to worry, we don’t shivtz the small stuff. 

It was a humor filled, delightful evening. His shtick had a cute gimmick. The evening was so provactive of our days of growing up with similar hand me downs. I can’t type fast enough, I could plotz.

Earlier in the day we spaetzered around The West Palm Beach Antique Fair. 

You shouldn’t know from the thrill-big, huge. With every piece of schmutz on every amber glass bowl our endorphins rose to sea level. We sifted through the tchatchkes, the thigamabobs and the doodads. If you haven’t left me yet it’s over soon enough. Trust me, oy. We bought a few things, you’ll see below. 

And then we knew we arrived –over the free, fluffy marble cake samples placed in front of us at Flakowitz. Uh, the look on my husband’s face priceless. His favorite and free. Does it get better? Ok, listen up. We had a Flagel and a schmear and we were off. We were on our way to play pickle ball with that new couple we met on line at Costco. I don’t, know, maybe, could be the early bird’s shadow portends to more then 6 weeks in La-la land. I’ll get back to you later. 

Allan Sherman- esque- Buy 1 get 3 free

Hello Muddah,

hello Fadduh, Here I am at Camp Flor-ah-da

It’s not so entertaining

and they say I’ll have some fun if I stop complaining.

I went walking, with Jenny Eliasis

She developed a bad case of psoriasis

You remember Shirley Skinner

We are meeting for the early bird dinner.

All the sales people -over at the Walmarts – snuck in for me an extra dozen urine charts
Now I don’t want this

should scare ya

But my roommate has a bad case of diar-rhe-a

You remember Joanie Hardy

They’re about to organize a searching party.

Take me home, oh muddah , fadduh take me home, I hate Camp Flor-ah-da

Don’t leave me, at the casino -someone next to me forgot their beano

Take me home please and I promise -I will not make noise or mess the house with dappers (bingo)

oh please, don’t make me stay, I’ve been here one whole day.

Wait a minute, it stopped raining

I seem to like the music in the pool that they’re playing

Playing mah Jong and Canasta- who knows with bridge I could become a masta

So dear muddah and dear fadduh hold your horses cause I seem to like it better – I even started knitting you a navy sweater

Went to see Bye Bye Birdie and guess what I ran into Aunt Gertie

So for right now, hold it a minute -Cause I think I might get right in it.

I will write you some time later – if I don’t run into an alli-gator!

When the Going Gets…

In this week’s Torah portion we read one of our favorite verses:”And Miriam the prophetess, the sister of Aaron, took a timbrel in her hand; and all the women went out after her with timbrels and with dances. And Miriam sang unto them: Sing ye to the LORD, for He is highly exalted…”

No explanation is required: women took part because women ARE a part Of life, society and religion. Ailments are lonely and isolating. It is you and your problem sitting together all day long. The healing process is disturbingly confusing. A little passive, a little aggressive. You protect the queen at any cost as she holds direct access to the king who is the panacea to your troubles. I believe in artifacts, i.e. feathers, dimes, angelic signals that become ever-present and serve as comfort during the most difficult of times. An Angel, whispering a head’s up to look this way and listen up. This time the queen is sitting in the center square and the king is nowhere in sight. You flirt with the queen in an attempt to divert her attention as you try to gain entrance through the front door. You know all the while in a wizard of ozesque fashion you need to open the curtain at any cost. So just for today I trust a feather will float in my path and tell me where the opening in the curtain is. My reservoir of strength kicks into fast forward as I hit the ground running away from just another day – not at the park.