When you like someone you focus on the good – not on the back tooth that is shadowed by an old silver filling. We give slack, benefit of doubts and leeway on demand, with myopic vision, when the chemistry is right. We live in an imperfect world and mea culpa’s for bad “email” decisions have redemption levels. 

Through no obligation or scales tipped we pump up, support and yes-Forgive- even that Mrs. Doubtfire. 

Donald Trump has a bar set lower in limbo like fashion in spite of himself. 

Please Halloween candy be one day old. So then we will be one day closer to getting through this charade of all time injustice. It no longer matters whether the facts are checked through every sniffle, all those grunts. Winner takes all as we live with the consequences of malpractice. And sometimes through grave error “We the People will have to cataclysmically live with the results of “We the People.” 

Dream Big! Dreams really do come true. Adages galore. When your realizations are far fetched and unlikely fill in the lines with the “l’ll take it, why not, close enough, that could work too.” First choices realized are sometimes design and luck or some metric of that equation. In the meantime, Dream Big, Huge. The songs run through us encouraging us not to give up our daydreams. In 1937 Irving Kahal penned the song “I can dream can’t I?” It sticks in our heads when the going gets tough. Often when our wishes and hopes are remote possibilities try replacing the words, ” you’re dreaming” with the “let’s do it’s.” Far fetched, out of reach and inappropriate? – Just go for it! “Let’s do it” serves as fuel for converting tangibles into realities. Gypsy had a dream, a dream about you baby, and you know what- Everything Came up Roses. How about how Gary Wright got through night by closing his eyes again and climbing aboard the dream weaver train. He left tomorrow behind, crossed the highways of fantasy. He believed the dream weaver could get him through the night. Oh yeah! I like it- let’s keep going. 

I recently ran into two friends I haven’t seen in quite awhile. Disappointing connections lost. I had a dream about one of them afterwards. It focused on a familiar scene and a shared good time. I thought about calling and just saying hi. Being proactive is a way of turning the only if’s into the perhaps and wishful thinkings. 

Give someone you love your time and plan a special day. The things you haven’t worn in years donate to a charity and make someone else’s dream come true. Flip the energy by taking your grandchild on a scary ride or through a haunted house experience. Watch them jump up and down in place with excitement and listen to the chant of the haunted house repeated all day long. Watch other’s dreams unfold and then know dreams and fairytales make the world of fun go round. As we creep closer to the big, oh so well rounded age number, let’s get it close to right. Change acronyms like AARP to “another age reaping pleasure. Sounds like a dream come true to me. We can’t go back and start a new beginning, but we can start today and have a different ending.

Bella Sophia was born- she was named for you. “A blessing on your head, Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov.” Jackie got married to a wonderful man who adores her. His name is Frank. He’s that nice, loving, family guy you prayed for us all to meet. She looks at him today as she did when they first met 5 plus years ago. Roberta Mae got lucky in love when this happened. This Ba-bee doll is their progeny. She’s a hoot, a beauty and an old soul. Thanks for the feathers- we get excited by each and every one. All your girls share them with one another and it adds to the connection you so hoped would continue. Bella is the conduit that helped bring your family to a good place.Fyi- I always pick up the talon, count 7’s and keep my eye on picking the deck. Ira and I play with your sister G and brother-in- law H. It’s a great day. I look at her face and I see you. I sit on her lap, we take a picture together, and all the way home I glow from the aftermath of our time together. On these day’s I think of you more. Missing you is the constant in my life, the intensity never changes. It feels safe knowing the feather’s will always come. Our love stays palpable, strong. When I implement the lessons you imparted it breathes life into our connection. I renew my vow to you today on your yahrzeit. I will walk into the room, hold my head up and carry my own concept of myself. Rest well mama- Baruch HaShem.

The have to’s versus the want to’s. When obligation and necessity meet up with desire and pleasure the line in the sand can be drawn. Defining moments and the make a difference times contribute to that “eight card fit” we strive for- if we do.

We have learned through many trials resulting in errors and our share of win/win’s that John Lennon certainly got it right- “you can’t always get what you want, but if you try some time you find get what you need.”

Often we have wondered when we find angst, distress and just those huge uncomfortable moments staring us down, is this where we wanted to find ourselves at the other end of the proverbial conversation? Those speaking louder than words, actions, where were you when we needed the forethought? On the list of the ad nauseums and the opening lines in the self help guides that I trust we have put down more than we’ve picked up- We hear if things don’t work try, try and then try something different. Learn to knit, maybe crochet, use Invisalign and smile bigger. Try those gluten free “gg”crackers and take off that extra bloat. One little change begets another. Playing the typecast scenarios repetitively in our heads keeps the stagnation, stagnant. Shake it up unless you “love that dirty water” – lyrics and music by the Standells- “your honor that was a dig deep moment.” Oh yeah! As kids one of our guilty pleasures was soap opera watching while doing our homework. Shout out to Bettie Ann- in the house. Agnes Nixon had us going from “All My Children to “One Life to Live.” Then we would hear the garage door open and knew our focus would have to be soley on reading “The Red Badge of Courage” or plodding thru parallelograms.

So in the name of the one very precious and very dear “One Life to Live,” – just for today, in baby step fashion, make a difference. Turn the beat around and make someone else’s day. Put the accent on the right syll- able. View the have to’s as the want to’s. Just maybe the lesson will have everything to do with the tomorrow’s because of the today’s. Esoteric perhaps- but provocative begets pro-active.

Remember in the Hans Cristian Andersen’s fairly tales when he “wove” a story about An Emperor and His New Clothes? Well, how prophetic and exact as we move toward the front of the line to vote for 45th President of the United States- home of the Free because of the Brave. So Han’s protagonist was this well dressed despot who prided himself on his GQ style and taste in garb. Along comes two weavers who proclaimed to be the finest seamstresses in the land. They promised to deliver suits so beautifully composed and detailed, made of the finest silk. The glitch and as always with big promises in swindle like fashion was that the clothing would be invisible by anyone who was not worthy of their position, stupid or incompetent. With tunnel vision and guilty of gullibility the Emperor hired them to clothe him. The sycophants, in order to make themselves look better, pretended to see his invisible clothing. “But the Emperor has no clothes.” Really guys, more jobs, America great again, and Mexico is paying for what wall? Fast forward to the here and now. We are living through a time of make believe this isn’t happening and we are passing the hot potato. Do we tell the emperor his suit is invisible, call his bluff and appear stupid? Hans’s word not mine. Do we stick to our gun (laws) and stay true to our ethics? With a sense of urgency we discard the facade of blue chip debauchery that stinks from Maine to Spain. Only when we accept the blatant dishonor as a web of lies filled with empty promises can we call the emperor a dirty rotten scoundrel. We saw right through him all along. November 6th you can’t come soon enough. Our take way in this bridge game of real life is one (won) No Trump. “Quiet please there’s a lady on stage.”

Collect Mazel tov’s not injustices. So when you wake up at 2:35 and you are wide awake then what? Does it seem that the dream fairy takes coffee breaks at inopportune moments, like all the time? The floodgates open and every appt. I didn’t make, every issue I’ve struggled with since 4th grade and the card I forgot to send vie for first place. When is my dream maker coming back, isn’t she late? So I roll over, sigh, take a drink of warm water that’s been sitting on my nightable for hours and I go to Plan B. Every self help tool to put yourself back to sleep has now failed. I struggle not to check my e-mails or turn on
reruns of The Prince of Bel Air. I try to remember mid-night worrying is ten fold. It’s only an appointment to have my teeth cleaned. Perhaps the unresolved issue with a friend or family member is really a one sided struggle in my mind, and yes they have cards that say belated but I meant well. So with salutary thoughts replacing panic I take another sip of luke warm water and try and try.I have now been lying here for 50 middle of the night minutes that are pumped up and feel like two hours. 

I then do my form of meditation. I preach to myself in davining like fashion. I try to change the narrative that repeats like a broken record over and over. I get up to how I am a really good person, a solid citizen and Sally Field it. I remind myself they like me they really like me. I then say screw it those who do- love me, and some just have to deal with me. Then and that perhaps is the defining moment I know I have taken the right actions and let  go of the results. I then turn over gaze at the clock and it’s 7:00 a.m. I smell the coffee and know I’m good to go. Another successful sleep interruptus.

The denouement of Summer Days. As the last of the sand is cleaned off our flip flops and our floppy hats are being stored in the back of a closet —we reflect. Summer offers so many physical sensations of year’s past. The feelings last so much longer than the end of their days. With euphoric recall we remember long, languid days of warm breezes, iced coffees and the names of books we read as kids. Glorious thoughts of end of day schlepping beach chairs back to Aunt Helen’s house, our feet burning with every leap. Ah, the splash of the cool shower as it hit our sunburned, sand filled backs. How about the first bite into well buttered corn on the cob? Oh, and the melodic sound of the Good Humor Man. Not such an easy decision between a fudgicle or the then version of tasti-delite with cookie crumbs- loved those choices of toppings.

Somewhere around mid August we knew we would soon learn what shows we had the option of watching on our rabbit eared T.V. sets. We tried to figure out how many night time programs we were allowed and how we could factor new ones in between Dr. Kildare and That Girl. Richard Chamberlain and Marlo, we were loyal for sure. 

Shopping at Ginsburg’s and Wechsler’s for that well planned first day of school outfit is readily brought to mind as we remember the “when we were young times.” We called upon Debbie’s Dad for the knowing, well fitted Cordovan Weejun’s. Breaking them in was a primordial lesson in the “getting use to’s” we would carry with us always. 

And then… The intermix of the first day of school and observation of The Jewish Holiday’s stuffed with wonderful traditions and all the brisket you can eat nights that we still yearn for. So, as I see it, we can reach back and hold out for the second the door shuts on wearing white, or we can gear up for Fall. How about buying the sunflowers that predictably serve as the beginning of Autumn. Use up the last of the peaches in the pie crust that will soon be filled with Apples. And even, just even, go to Rutt’s for that one or two relish laden hot dogs that, yes transcends seasons but in yellow marker fashion italicizes the days of long ago but never far from heart. Make it a great one!