The have to’s versus the want to’s. When obligation and necessity meet up with desire and pleasure the line in the sand can be drawn. Defining moments and the make a difference times contribute to that “eight card fit” we strive for- if we do.

We have learned through many trials resulting in errors and our share of win/win’s that John Lennon certainly got it right- “you can’t always get what you want, but if you try some time you find get what you need.”

Often we have wondered when we find angst, distress and just those huge uncomfortable moments staring us down, is this where we wanted to find ourselves at the other end of the proverbial conversation? Those speaking louder than words, actions, where were you when we needed the forethought? On the list of the ad nauseums and the opening lines in the self help guides that I trust we have put down more than we’ve picked up- We hear if things don’t work try, try and then try something different. Learn to knit, maybe crochet, use Invisalign and smile bigger. Try those gluten free “gg”crackers and take off that extra bloat. One little change begets another. Playing the typecast scenarios repetitively in our heads keeps the stagnation, stagnant. Shake it up unless you “love that dirty water” – lyrics and music by the Standells- “your honor that was a dig deep moment.” Oh yeah! As kids one of our guilty pleasures was soap opera watching while doing our homework. Shout out to Bettie Ann- in the house. Agnes Nixon had us going from “All My Children to “One Life to Live.” Then we would hear the garage door open and knew our focus would have to be soley on reading “The Red Badge of Courage” or plodding thru parallelograms.

So in the name of the one very precious and very dear “One Life to Live,” – just for today, in baby step fashion, make a difference. Turn the beat around and make someone else’s day. Put the accent on the right syll- able. View the have to’s as the want to’s. Just maybe the lesson will have everything to do with the tomorrow’s because of the today’s. Esoteric perhaps- but provocative begets pro-active.