Collect Mazel tov’s not injustices. So when you wake up at 2:35 and you are wide awake then what? Does it seem that the dream fairy takes coffee breaks at inopportune moments, like all the time? The floodgates open and every appt. I didn’t make, every issue I’ve struggled with since 4th grade and the card I forgot to send vie for first place. When is my dream maker coming back, isn’t she late? So I roll over, sigh, take a drink of warm water that’s been sitting on my nightable for hours and I go to Plan B. Every self help tool to put yourself back to sleep has now failed. I struggle not to check my e-mails or turn on
reruns of The Prince of Bel Air. I try to remember mid-night worrying is ten fold. It’s only an appointment to have my teeth cleaned. Perhaps the unresolved issue with a friend or family member is really a one sided struggle in my mind, and yes they have cards that say belated but I meant well. So with salutary thoughts replacing panic I take another sip of luke warm water and try and try.I have now been lying here for 50 middle of the night minutes that are pumped up and feel like two hours.
I then do my form of meditation. I preach to myself in davining like fashion. I try to change the narrative that repeats like a broken record over and over. I get up to how I am a really good person, a solid citizen and Sally Field it. I remind myself they like me they really like me. I then say screw it those who do- love me, and some just have to deal with me. Then and that perhaps is the defining moment I know I have taken the right actions and let go of the results. I then turn over gaze at the clock and it’s 7:00 a.m. I smell the coffee and know I’m good to go. Another successful sleep interruptus.