Dear Prudence, won’t you come out and play and greet the brand new day. Who knows how long I’ve loved you, you know I love you still, will I wait a lonely lifetime, if you want me to I will. 

I think I’m gonna be sad, I think it’s today. The girl that’s driving me mad is going away.

Cause one day you’ll look to see I’ve gone but tomorrow may rain so I’ll follow the sun – So as I see it you gotta pay your dues if you wanna sing the blues cause – there is music they tell me in sweet fragrant meadows of dawn and dew, there is love all around but I never heard it playing no I never heard it at all till there was you. I wanna hold your hand as we cross Abbey Road, so don’t let me down-love me do. Please don’t twist and shout because she says she loves you and you know that can’t be bad. Anytime at all, all you got to do is call and I’ll be there. Cause when I’m home, everything seems to be right, when I’m home feeling you holding me tight. And if you want some fun take Ob-la-do-bla-da – Life goes on!

Chapter One “In the Land of VPL’s.” It all began while we waited for a parking spot at the Boy’s Farmers Market (which is the $1.00 store for fruits and veggies). It’s close by, right on Military Trail – a veritable bargain and if I tell you —fresh! So we sit and painstakingly wait until someone slowly wheels the stocked shopping cart back to their car, searches for their keys, loads the car, chases after the jar of herring in cream sauce that rolled away and finally removes the sun visor from the dashboard. The name of the place could be changed from The Boys to the Men. Like in forever. And so the brigade of visible panty lines came about. Spandex leggings have replaced “dungarees”- aka Jeans. With their swimming aerobic class over, a quick shower at the gym, the ladies are off to beat the crowd and get a coveted spot. Hey today the strawberry containers are two for the price of one. Could you plotz? They can serve them next to the bridge mix (chocolate and nuts) at the canasta game they are hosting later. Ok, back to the leggings. Spandex, helancas and stretch pants you’re killing us visually. You can get them cheap at the flea market on Sample Rd. The sign says “one size fits nobody over the age of 25.” Cheaper by the dozen if you like the color maroon. So we have returned, one year older, age appropriate activities have befallen us. With a little Mazel, coupled with a work out routine for balancing, we’ll come back next week, wait for a place to park, watch the brigade and who knows the blueberries could be two for the price of…

As the horses lined up at the gate they offered resistance being positioned into place. They fussed and backed out several times. The signal went off and it was showtime. All with the same goal, on unfamiliar turf, their eye on gaining speed at the homestretch. The odds 3-to 1. Winner takes all.  Within the time allotted to get to the finish line they kept neck in neck throughout. They never wavered in their goal, their determination inbred. The race was tight, they plodded ahead at their own speed, never loosing sight of one another. Adages galore- like mother, like daughter, family is family, an inseparable bond taking a well needed break. A hiatus to regroup and redefine how to permanently cement the umbilical cord, the life line. The animalistic instinct kicked in through scent and sound as they picked up speed finishing the race. A trifecta was called as a win-win They collected the trophy of family and went home. This time they went to the florist for flowers.

The risk that we would not go through life as family, friends was always there. Small risk as family and friends, we learn, are the “everything” destination. We count on one hand the people we can really count on. When actions thunder louder than words we pick up our Barbie Dolls and go home. We throw the spaghetti against the wall. Some pieces stick, as are the odds, the rest fall to the floor. Hold on to the pieces that stuck and make a sauce. We learn quickly through joy and more so through tragedy, just who our true friends are. When people behave differently than we would have, were the tables turned, we get confused and feel let down. Expectations often leave us open to disappointment. Will we ever know better?  Reality IS the hardest pill to swallow. So we lick our hopefully not too deep wounds and look for our eight card fit. Hello Bridge players.

We try not to hold grudges. The “so be its” and the “let’s move ons” seem more sensible. We suffer most through the hard lessons of lose, in places where winning was our imagined given. Embracing knowledge is no easier through difficult lessons, just more precious. We are more apt to not repeat the same mistakes. Adage strong- “Don’t go to the butcher if you are looking for flowers.”

The remember whens, can you believes and how about that time came with rapid fire ease. We sat down, adjust our reserved seat at The Julia’s (Just Us Ladies Into Aging) table and the evening unfolded.  Last night Ricky Rosenthal joined us and he was a welcomed addition and added so much to our time. FYI- he is still very cute in an eye candy way. I have memories of the smell of his cologne. Not sure if it was Canoe, English Leather or Jade East. He was dapper then and he has preserved and enhanced the look. He stayed for a drink as we raised a glass to health and Gail added a toast to “1969.”Neil Armstrong walked on the moon that year and we graduated high school. Ok- Carol King hit it once again. “We had a moment, just one moment- That will last beyond a dream, beyond a lifetime. We are the lucky ones, some people never get to do all we got to do. Now and forever I will always think of you.” 

We took a moment to acknowledge Allen Finkelstein’s passing. We heard additional details on how Daren Scott left us too soon. R.I.P.- Oy, I’m weepy and it’s not even 7:00. We exchanged pictures of our children and grandchildren, listened with interest about upcoming weddings and expressed concern over Debbie’s impending knee procedure. In “minutes” like fashion I mentally banked the conversation about Jeff Dietz and the progress he is making. Shout out to Jeff.

Ok, then- back to the compliments on how well we all look, perhaps a little help from fillers, clairol hair color and another 10 sessions with our trainers- it matters not. The take away, as we see it, is we have traveled from school yard days into the Medicare years and we have never had to turn the beat around. Our personalities may be more pronounced, our posture slightly compromised, but our love and caring deeper and stronger through time. I’ll sign on the dotted line for more of the same. 

With All Your MightNOVEMBER 16, 2016 ~ AROSEBYANYOTHERNAME2016

Connected by threads of laughter, endured thru distance and shredded by hardships. We are still together as our paths have divided, multiplied and been challenged. As a precious jewel-worn on tender occasions, displayed in a special place; polished and refurbished as needed. Forgiving, generous and embraced, as its value cannot be overestimated. A responsiblity unlike any other, for it is not obliged through birth. It continues, endures-we hold on and question how, sometimes why? Yet to loose it would mean a huge piece of us would perish amongst the rubble of disaster.

One manga-tile, two magna-tile, three-magna-tile four. With each squat, plunge and groan we are keeping our eye on the prize. We meet the trainer appropriately named Know-L and our mission begins. When we joined the GCA- Grandparents Club of America 12 years ago, we were equipped to jump up from the floor with zest and no thought of our body parts. Holding on to help ourselves up, no way. With knees and wrists in tact we were still “hip.”  So with 600 magna-tile pieces, bags on end of planes, trains and automobiles and lots of building in our future we’re in the work-out zone. We are not going to let ourselves get “down” without sprinting up. When Knowl says give me ten, we say I’ll give you fifteen, whatevers. So for now we’re optimizing our luck, our by chance fate and taking stock in Advil and epsom salt.  Catch us if you can Father Time –we found a way around you‼️

After a day of school, the algebra tutor- (gornisht helfen)- dinner and shower finished we’d get cozy on the couch for “Would You Believe “out of the mouth of Maxwell Smart. Maxwell was a secret agent who puzzled villains and his boss with his confusing explanations and farcical combat style, I say clearing my voice. “Now listen carefully,” CONTROL Agent 86- (Don Adams) with Agent 99 (Barbara Feldon) transported the James Bond and Inspector Clouseauesque capers spun through the brilliant eyes of Mel Brooks and Buck Henry. The secret agent genre goes satire. “The Chief”-Thaddeus (Edward Platt) of the faux CIA, doled out the assignments. Agent Smart played the bumbling, cockeyed optimist to the stereotypical “50’s” woman. Barbara knew more than Don but allowed him to believe he alone brought them through the finish line. 

Fast forward feminism and with no algebra tutors in sight, Danica Roem defeats “chief homophobe.” She said ” discrimination is a disqualifier” and we celebrate you because of who you are, not despite of it. Sucker punch to the gonads.

I’ll take State of Affairs for $1,000 please. Which Don says “would you believe?” when enemies call his bluff and he ineffectually resorts to more desperate ones. Take the $1,000 to the bank.

Make peace with mistakes! Then you can give peace a chance. Guilt is the gift that never stops giving. Don’t give it or accept it even in stocking stuffer proportions. Say what you mean and don’t be adorable about it. “All we want to do is have some fun till the sun comes up on Santa Monica Blvd.” Spend time watching bloopers and blunders- make your own. Serious is serious – throw it out with yesterday’s papers. Get a DVD of Seinfeld outtakes and belly laugh your way thru Sunday. Make yourself happy-what are you waiting for? Don’t google medical conditions, doing that offers quantum leap anxiety. Who understands portioned centimeters anyway. Whaaaaat? Sermon your way to a Sunday based on not who called or how many likes you got on your Facebook or Instagram posts. Did you really post like for likes? Oy! Get over trying to get over it. Not everyone likes everyone. Like yourself and then trust your appeal. Erma Bombeck said ” It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.” I say then don’t. When you carry your own concept of yourself, not worrying so much what others think really comes into play. I have learned people are more concerned about their printers not working than you. Utilize your talent and gather your internal supplies- means to an end. Roll up your sleeves, hit the ground running away from brow beating solicitors. On Thursday our grandson Zachary told us that he loves us both so much that even when we die he will still love us. Once again, after they picked me up from the floor, I looked to the sky thanked my “lucky” stars and thought boy am I glad I didn’t leave my heart in San Francisco.

My mother loved FOOD- shopping, unpacking, organizing the refrigerator,preparing, cooking, eating, wrapping leftovers, eating, cleaning out the refrigerator, eating some more. She studied food and became a dietItian. Studied some more and with her masters degree was titled nutritionist. Then got an M.S.W. in social work at the age of 50. I think she wanted to figure out through research why food was always top of mind. I relied on radishes cleaned and in Tupperware with French dressing as an after school snack. Sometimes I opted for Buitoni Raviolis, yum as I think about it now.

I waited around and did homework until dinner. I came to expect something breaded, something fried with Le Seur Peas and a baked sweet potato. I looked forward to broiled baby lamp chops- I still do. The melody lingers on. Snowballs, hostess cupcakes, twinkies, drakes ring dings, yodels -yum and yum. Euphoric gastronomic recall. She saved the Lindt Chocolate for her card games. 

As the culinary seed was planted I waited for it to sprout into my type of cuisine. I too love food. However everything else around it feels equally as appealing. I have an extensive salt and pepper shaker collection. Varied, and meaningful. Collected from places I’ve been, antiquing and from gifts. Some are antiques, several glass, some ceramic. Betty Boop and Harley Davidson sets hang out in my cabinet together. Dishes, silverware and amber glass represent my treasured items. Flowers and table settings add to the allure of my meal. My collection of soupcons (fancy serving ladles) makes me smile.

Shopping for the ingredients and researching who has the best mozzarella and filet mignon a past time. Aligning the seats for comfort and space adds to the canvas. I make sure the creases in the napkins are well pressed and the water glass is properly situated. I light candles and get dressed. I then set up the ice on the bar and cut lemon slices. All the time this is going on I have the oven on, the flames on low and I check my ” something breaded, something fried.” I learned from The Best.