The remember whens, can you believes and how about that time came with rapid fire ease. We sat down, adjust our reserved seat at The Julia’s (Just Us Ladies Into Aging) table and the evening unfolded.  Last night Ricky Rosenthal joined us and he was a welcomed addition and added so much to our time. FYI- he is still very cute in an eye candy way. I have memories of the smell of his cologne. Not sure if it was Canoe, English Leather or Jade East. He was dapper then and he has preserved and enhanced the look. He stayed for a drink as we raised a glass to health and Gail added a toast to “1969.”Neil Armstrong walked on the moon that year and we graduated high school. Ok- Carol King hit it once again. “We had a moment, just one moment- That will last beyond a dream, beyond a lifetime. We are the lucky ones, some people never get to do all we got to do. Now and forever I will always think of you.” 

We took a moment to acknowledge Allen Finkelstein’s passing. We heard additional details on how Daren Scott left us too soon. R.I.P.- Oy, I’m weepy and it’s not even 7:00. We exchanged pictures of our children and grandchildren, listened with interest about upcoming weddings and expressed concern over Debbie’s impending knee procedure. In “minutes” like fashion I mentally banked the conversation about Jeff Dietz and the progress he is making. Shout out to Jeff.

Ok, then- back to the compliments on how well we all look, perhaps a little help from fillers, clairol hair color and another 10 sessions with our trainers- it matters not. The take away, as we see it, is we have traveled from school yard days into the Medicare years and we have never had to turn the beat around. Our personalities may be more pronounced, our posture slightly compromised, but our love and caring deeper and stronger through time. I’ll sign on the dotted line for more of the same. 

With All Your MightNOVEMBER 16, 2016 ~ AROSEBYANYOTHERNAME2016

Connected by threads of laughter, endured thru distance and shredded by hardships. We are still together as our paths have divided, multiplied and been challenged. As a precious jewel-worn on tender occasions, displayed in a special place; polished and refurbished as needed. Forgiving, generous and embraced, as its value cannot be overestimated. A responsiblity unlike any other, for it is not obliged through birth. It continues, endures-we hold on and question how, sometimes why? Yet to loose it would mean a huge piece of us would perish amongst the rubble of disaster.

One manga-tile, two magna-tile, three-magna-tile four. With each squat, plunge and groan we are keeping our eye on the prize. We meet the trainer appropriately named Know-L and our mission begins. When we joined the GCA- Grandparents Club of America 12 years ago, we were equipped to jump up from the floor with zest and no thought of our body parts. Holding on to help ourselves up, no way. With knees and wrists in tact we were still “hip.”  So with 600 magna-tile pieces, bags on end of planes, trains and automobiles and lots of building in our future we’re in the work-out zone. We are not going to let ourselves get “down” without sprinting up. When Knowl says give me ten, we say I’ll give you fifteen, whatevers. So for now we’re optimizing our luck, our by chance fate and taking stock in Advil and epsom salt.  Catch us if you can Father Time –we found a way around you‼️

After a day of school, the algebra tutor- (gornisht helfen)- dinner and shower finished we’d get cozy on the couch for “Would You Believe “out of the mouth of Maxwell Smart. Maxwell was a secret agent who puzzled villains and his boss with his confusing explanations and farcical combat style, I say clearing my voice. “Now listen carefully,” CONTROL Agent 86- (Don Adams) with Agent 99 (Barbara Feldon) transported the James Bond and Inspector Clouseauesque capers spun through the brilliant eyes of Mel Brooks and Buck Henry. The secret agent genre goes satire. “The Chief”-Thaddeus (Edward Platt) of the faux CIA, doled out the assignments. Agent Smart played the bumbling, cockeyed optimist to the stereotypical “50’s” woman. Barbara knew more than Don but allowed him to believe he alone brought them through the finish line. 

Fast forward feminism and with no algebra tutors in sight, Danica Roem defeats “chief homophobe.” She said ” discrimination is a disqualifier” and we celebrate you because of who you are, not despite of it. Sucker punch to the gonads.

I’ll take State of Affairs for $1,000 please. Which Don says “would you believe?” when enemies call his bluff and he ineffectually resorts to more desperate ones. Take the $1,000 to the bank.

Make peace with mistakes! Then you can give peace a chance. Guilt is the gift that never stops giving. Don’t give it or accept it even in stocking stuffer proportions. Say what you mean and don’t be adorable about it. “All we want to do is have some fun till the sun comes up on Santa Monica Blvd.” Spend time watching bloopers and blunders- make your own. Serious is serious – throw it out with yesterday’s papers. Get a DVD of Seinfeld outtakes and belly laugh your way thru Sunday. Make yourself happy-what are you waiting for? Don’t google medical conditions, doing that offers quantum leap anxiety. Who understands portioned centimeters anyway. Whaaaaat? Sermon your way to a Sunday based on not who called or how many likes you got on your Facebook or Instagram posts. Did you really post like for likes? Oy! Get over trying to get over it. Not everyone likes everyone. Like yourself and then trust your appeal. Erma Bombeck said ” It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.” I say then don’t. When you carry your own concept of yourself, not worrying so much what others think really comes into play. I have learned people are more concerned about their printers not working than you. Utilize your talent and gather your internal supplies- means to an end. Roll up your sleeves, hit the ground running away from brow beating solicitors. On Thursday our grandson Zachary told us that he loves us both so much that even when we die he will still love us. Once again, after they picked me up from the floor, I looked to the sky thanked my “lucky” stars and thought boy am I glad I didn’t leave my heart in San Francisco.

My mother loved FOOD- shopping, unpacking, organizing the refrigerator,preparing, cooking, eating, wrapping leftovers, eating, cleaning out the refrigerator, eating some more. She studied food and became a dietItian. Studied some more and with her masters degree was titled nutritionist. Then got an M.S.W. in social work at the age of 50. I think she wanted to figure out through research why food was always top of mind. I relied on radishes cleaned and in Tupperware with French dressing as an after school snack. Sometimes I opted for Buitoni Raviolis, yum as I think about it now.

I waited around and did homework until dinner. I came to expect something breaded, something fried with Le Seur Peas and a baked sweet potato. I looked forward to broiled baby lamp chops- I still do. The melody lingers on. Snowballs, hostess cupcakes, twinkies, drakes ring dings, yodels -yum and yum. Euphoric gastronomic recall. She saved the Lindt Chocolate for her card games. 

As the culinary seed was planted I waited for it to sprout into my type of cuisine. I too love food. However everything else around it feels equally as appealing. I have an extensive salt and pepper shaker collection. Varied, and meaningful. Collected from places I’ve been, antiquing and from gifts. Some are antiques, several glass, some ceramic. Betty Boop and Harley Davidson sets hang out in my cabinet together. Dishes, silverware and amber glass represent my treasured items. Flowers and table settings add to the allure of my meal. My collection of soupcons (fancy serving ladles) makes me smile.

Shopping for the ingredients and researching who has the best mozzarella and filet mignon a past time. Aligning the seats for comfort and space adds to the canvas. I make sure the creases in the napkins are well pressed and the water glass is properly situated. I light candles and get dressed. I then set up the ice on the bar and cut lemon slices. All the time this is going on I have the oven on, the flames on low and I check my ” something breaded, something fried.” I learned from The Best.

Be careful what you wish for-Allan Sherman style JANUARY 16, 2017 ~ AROSEBYANYOTHERNAME2016

Hello Muddah,
hello Fadduh, Here I am at Camp Flor-ah-da
It’s not so entertaining
and they say I’ll have some fun if I stop complaining.
I went walking, with Jenny Eliasis
She developed a bad case of psoriasis
You remember Shirley Skinner
We are meeting for the early bird dinner.
All the sales people -over at the Walmarts – snuck in for me an extra dozen urine charts

Now I don’t want this
should scare ya
But my roommate has a bad case of diar-rhe-a
You remember Joanie Hardy
They’re about to organize a searching party.
Take me home, oh muddah , fadduh take me home, I hate Camp Flor-ah-da
Don’t leave me, at the casino -someone next to me forgot their beano
Take me home please and I promise -I will not make noise or mess the house with dappers (bingo)
oh please, don’t make me stay, I’ve been here one whole day.
Wait a minute, it stopped raining
I seem to like the music in the pool that they’re playing
Playing mah Jong and Canasta- who knows with bridge I could become a masta
So dear muddah and dear fadduh hold your horses cause I seem to like it better – I even started knitting you a navy sweater
Went to see Bye Bye Birdie and guess what I ran into Aunt Gertie
So for right now, hold it a minute -Cause I think I might get right in it.
I will write you some time later – if I don’t run into an alli-gator!

Nora Johnson who wrote one of my all time favorite movies died this past week at 84. The movie, The World of Henry Orient is a story loosely based on her very New York City schooled at Brearley, luncheoned at Romanoff’s life. With financial indulgences galore by luck and emotional limitations in abundance as a by product of a divorced home she managed to balance a well integrated life. She had three marriages, several children and grandchildren and attained a great deal of success through her well received books. Her third, late in life relationship turned marriage came when she was 71 with a man who was 84. The net/net on their years together was best summed up by her. And I quote- ” He had said I was his last, loveliest adventure and he brought joy and magic to my life. He died when he was 91 and I was 78. Only then did I start to get old.”

Attached is a blog from April 27, 2016 – The world of Henry Orient.
The World of Henry Orient

APRIL 27, 2016 ~ AROSEBYANYOTHERNAME2016

My dream away movie starring Peter Sellers as an eccentric concert pianist and two young Brearley-esque ingenues who groupie their way around New York City. I had a crush on the entire movie. The friendship between Val and Gil served as the prototype for my best friendships and our shared tuna fish sandwiches with malteds stirred by pretzels. It was based on a book by Nora Johnson written in 1964. The movie directed by George Roy Hill also extrapolated the concept of infidelity. Ah! men. I too had my own Henry Orient in high school. Mr. Schmoltze the Director of the all school musical was my man crush. Loyalty is Royalty. Good friendships never go out of style. Stay in close touch with the friends that touch you deeply. Friendship and trust are synonymous. “We’ll always be bosom buddies, friends, sisters and pals. “I’ll always be Alice Toklas if you’ll be Gertrude Stein. Auntie Mame had her priorities in order at least when it came to friendships. Sometimes we call our friend just to hear her voice. There is a treasured certainty in knowing we haven’t thrown each other out after all the tales of woe we’ve shared. Our discussions so much cheaper than therapy. We paint a picture, create a collage or write a poem inserting a compilation of shared memories. We know we will never “Walk Alone.” 

When the leaves were orange and the living was easy. What does the tooth fairy do with all the teeth? Why are the people in the front of the picture so much bigger than the people toward the back? Out of the mouths, when life was oh so mellow. 

We bought our first pair of silk stockings which were to be held up by a stretchy pink and white striped  garter belt. The days of Ozzie and Harriet, Susan Lucci and Soupy Sales. 

We re-dialed after our friends line was busy the first time and screeched with excitement, Conrad Birdie style, over our anticipated coed- girl/boy party that evening. After we sat under a hot dryer with beer can sized rollers in our hair we brushed away the fumes from our eyes left by aqua spray. The decision to curl our hair rather than iron it straight was a good one, our hair came out just right. Getting ready “Was” the excitement. Our new madras blouse and alpaca sweater hung prominently in the front of our closet right above our shiny, new cordovan colored weejuns. Bright, new Penny, dated 1967 heads up in place.

A touch of revlon blush, a glimmer of light pink lipstick proceeded a spritz of Ambush and we were on our way. With dejavu on my breath I can still recall euphorically how it felt when I unbuttoned the wooden clasps that kept my new Pea Coat in tact. The boys gathered on one side of the room as the girls sifted through the 45’s on the other. At this point there was no bottle to spin in sight. Would the Angels sing tonight as our soldier boys danced under the Blue Moon? 

The specialty years of pre-teening had a wonderful life of its own. We made room for our daydreams laced with Johnny Mathis lyrics. Our Barbie and Ken’s were  repositioned and left to fetch for themselves in the back row of our minds. In the still of the night I hold tightly to the memories that Jay and the Americans knew were those Magic Moments. 

Dear Harvey Weinstein,  Now you have everything wrong with you. I’ll give you that you knew talent, recognized a good story and had a great marketing team. Success soared, you made tons of money having a keen eye for who has that very special “something.” Your collaborations are what made you and what did you in. Furthermore a lot of people made a lot of money because of you and that’s the good news.

Recognizing opportunity and following through is luck In the making. Money only gets you so far and beauty is skin deep. In the eyes of the beholder you are a creep. I thought I was nauseated yesterday from acid reflux. Can you say air sick bag? You never got over being the guy in high school who wasn’t dancing at the prom with the queen. There was only one guy with her and they probably lost touch 45 years ago. So what, big deal you had other stuff that took you to the sky. There’s lots of attraction to powerful, successful men who keep it going once they found it. Charismatic for everything you had, only you got caught. You don’t 

wear egg on you face well and your nearest and dearest didn’t appreciate the look, to say the least. So as a proud woman who is 12 steps away from being swayed by you I hope for your sake your wife needs another Armani Suit and can Melania her way through this one. You are nothing more than an insulting, insecure, abusive misogynist. And by the way don’t have a good day or tomorrow either. Can you say busted?