The sociopath and the sycophant

Went up the hill

The loud cries fast and furious 

Audible ”find him and kill”

With loyalty and disgrace

Through thick and through thin

Counting on four more years, stuck by for the Win

With family in tow and clinging to dear 

Life

Nothing could prepare for the horror, the strife

Through a treacherous slope riddled with danger and fear

A sight to behold

With nothing to compare

A lifetime of duty

Serving his country with length

The sociopath gave orders to rip out his strength

The world watched by, as the House

Team excelled

With facts on their side

And so much to tell

Letter perfect they shared

Justice the Plea

Matters of fact for all just to see

Our States so divided

With shivers of disbelief 

The trials, the travesty without the relief

With hopes of delivering the sociopath 

His due

Never going forward with so much undue. 

The sociopath and the sycophant

Will just change the names

Our beloved America we are crying in shame.

Definition of Recidivism-a tendency to relapse into a previous condition or mode of behavior; especially relapse into criminal behavior. Is there a fine line between addiction and recidivism? Let’s consider how popular prison romances are and seem in no danger of dying out. One theory is that prisoners create a literal wall against closeness. Conjugal visits preclude hanging out Sunday morning with Russ and Daughters and The New York Times. They certainly eliminate variegated activities i.e. strolling through The Whitney and eating french toast at Bubby’s in TriBeCa.Delving into a veritable pantheon of theories that depict the profile of personalities enraptured by the incarcerated is a thesis unto itself. Far from the cover for every pot concept. I recently viewed Jacob Ephron’s documentary on his mom Nora Ephron. I watched it for the second time, can’t wait to see it again. Oh, Nora you hated your neck and we loved you. We so related when Harry met Sally and they were Sleepless in Seattle. We followed as Julie and Julia Got Mail. Your self-deprecatory humor was comforting. And I quote “when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” Amen! The converse rings ever so true. When you understand that burnt pot roast doesn’t necessarily taste so good, negating that we grew up eating it, you throw it out and start again. Sensibility does not kick in by chance. Don’t wait for the next ship to come in to carpe diem.” Seizing opportunities and disregarding discouragements are our modus operandi.How many rapprochement’s succeed? When we get sick and tired of being sick and tired, we move to another table in search of our eight card fit. I know cliche counters, I know. Last eve a couple of The Julia’s – acronym for (Just Us Ladies Into Aging) had dinner. Our portfolio sports 57 years of round tables together. From our early days of sharing french fries at Wassers and Awful Awfuls at Bonds, we got another chance to embrace our history “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim. It will be a little messy, but embrace the mess.” Nora Ephron you get us!

We’re Booked!Rise early, have a tan, collect things and have hobbies. Advice imparted many years back by an older, wise gentle person who wreaked with gravitas. So I started collecting book marks. It all began as a kid growing up in Passaic and being inspired by Mona Rinzler to read. One year when we drove to Florida and stopped at South of the Border in South Carolina I got my first book mark. It was plastic and had a picture of a sombrero. I added two more one from Williamsburg Virgiinia with a picture of our founding fathers. My third came from a school trip to Old Museum Village in Monroe, New York. That one I clipped to the top of the page of one of my Nancy Drew adventures. On a random rainy day when I feel I’ve lost my place in my book, I look through my collections. Flipping pages to see what happened next, albeit antiquated is still my choice of read. In the absence of loosing battery, with no clicks or beeps and nothing to plug in to find out if the protagonist gets pulled over on the road for texting, is my slow down, regroup time. I pause the haunting thoughts, turn the beat around and as my Bubby would say, “look the other way mamala.” Metaphorically with the rapid pace of the progression of time, on the days that feel endless with emotional clutter, we put on our “Red Badge of Courage” tap into Astrid Lindgren’s character Pippi Longstocking and etch a sketch our way to Neverland. In Louis Armstrong’s “ Wonderful World” when he heard babies cry and watched them grow he knew they’d learn more than he’d ever know and he said to himself “what a wonderful world.” So here’s to the days before unplugging, rebooting, memes, twittering, emoticons or cyber bullying. As the dots come dancing in response to a text, sometimes hours later, with no audible voice, no inflections and a smiley face replacing a giggle, I pray for the millennial’s and our grandchildren a collection of bookmarks where they can find their place even if their battery wears out.

B.N. Before Netflix- our days of Mary Tyler (give us Moore.) ”Oh G-d” (1977) The “2000 year old man,” enters the pearly Gates Laughing. Estelle Reiner, his wife said it best at Katz’s Deli, “I’ll have what she’s having.” She was married for 64 yrs. to the controller at Rancho Conejo.
98 years funny he certainly had “The Thrill of it All.” When Morey Amsterdam and Rose Marie reworded phrases to get the rhythm right on The Alan Brady show Carl Reiner called it a Wrap. So as Rob Petrie tripped into our living rooms each week on the eponymous “Dick Van Dyke Show” it was really his “Show and Shows.”
Norman Lear’s line in Carl Reiner’s 2017 documentary on aging, “If You’re not in the Obit, Eat Breakfast.” So today Carl, we’ll have your coffee with cream and a little oatmeal in your honor. His credo was “ find your hammock and live in the now. The transition of time in between “ok, it’s over, to what’s next, is when his productivity kicked in. HBO featured the documentary- “on demand” it if you can.The cast of characters the best of the best. Mel Brooks is hysterical, Dick Van Dyke dances, Norman Lear is brilliant and Carl Reiner’s direction and hosting ever so warm and welcoming. When it was filmed in 2017 they were all Nonagenarians. One thing distinctly portrayed in this work of long livers is that they were passionate and fell in love with lots of things.
So Carl we imagine as your enter the pearly gates we will hear you say to G-d, “so Divine One, if you were commanding a performance your timing was propitious as “The Russians are coming, The Russians are coming”- in this “Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. I will pass the baton on to my son Rob and remind him of the line written in 1963 for “it’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. “And in a democracy, it don’t matter how stupid you are, you still get an equal share.”RIP Mr. Reiner well done!

I dreamed a dream in time goes by

When life returns to more forgiving

I dreamed that masks were out of sight

Except on Halloween with candy giving

When we were young and unafraid

When hugging Grandpa posed no limits

Our days galore of fun and games

When looking both ways before we crossed our aim But the virus came along

The impact soft as thunder

As our world fell apart

And our days left without their wonder

We lived our year while stuck inside

Our hopes and prayers put on back burners

It wasn’t gone as autumn came

With dreams of life returning

We slashed our plans to party on

Weddings and Bar Mitzvahs without the music

We had a dream of brides in white

Children praying at the bema

And still we dream our life will be

Pulling our chairs up to the table

We will share a cup or two

Maybe Bruce, will bring the bagels

The days are growing longer

Punxsutawney Phil did see his shadow

We’ll grab a moment to reflect

And know we emerged so much stronger.

Nora Johnson who wrote one of my all time favorite movies died this past week at 84. The movie, The World of Henry Orient is a story loosely based on her very New York City schooled at Brearley, luncheoned at Romanoff’s life. With financial indulgences galore by luck and emotional limitations in abundance as a by product of a divorced home she managed to balance a well integrated life. She had three marriages, several children and grandchildren and attained a great deal of success through her well received books. Her third, late in life relationship turned marriage came when she was 71 with a man who was 84. The net/net on their years together was best summed up by her. And I quote- ” He had said I was his last, loveliest adventure and he brought joy and magic to my life. He died when he was 91 and I was 78. Only then did I start to get old.”

Attached is a blog from April 27, 2016 – The World of Henry Orient.

APRIL 27, 2016 ~ AROSEBYANYOTHERNAME2016

My dream away movie starring Peter Sellers as an eccentric concert pianist and two young Brearley-esque ingenues who groupie their way around New York City. I had a crush on the entire movie. The friendship between Val and Gil served as the prototype for my best friendships and our shared tuna fish sandwiches with malteds, stirred by pretzels. It was based on a book by Nora Johnson written in 1964. The movie directed by George Roy Hill also extrapolated the concept of infidelity. Ah! men. I too had my own Henry Orient in high school. Mr. Schmoltze the Director of the all school musical was my man crush. Loyalty is Royalty. Good friendships never go out of style. Stay in close touch with the friends that touch you deeply. Friendship and trust are synonymous. “We’ll always be bosom buddies, friends, sisters and pals. “I’ll always be Alice Toklas if you’ll be Gertrude Stein. Auntie Mame had her priorities in order at least when it came to friendships. Sometimes we call our friend just to hear her voice. There is a treasured certainty in knowing we haven’t thrown each other out after all the tales of woe we’ve shared. Our discussions so much cheaper than therapy. We paint a picture, create a collage or write a poem inserting a compilation of shared memories. We know we will never “Walk Alone.”

Dear 20chai

Maybe this time we’ll win. We make the promises, we pump up the expectations and we pass the in winter only Mallomars at the supermarket.

“When a child loves you for a long time, not just to play with but REALLY loves you, you become Real. Does it hurt?” Asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

A favorite quote from a most favorite children’s book, The Velveteen Rabbit or (How Toys Become Real) by Margery Williams. 

So once again we try to brush away the flies in our picnic of life. Sadness only  takes away riches. We know for certain laughter, especially when it involves the belly adds life to your years. Norman Lear, who is still going strong at 95 years young, believes as he was moving on up to the East Side with Maude, Archie and Sandford’s son that the “Good Times” even if it’s “One Day at a Time,” added years to your life. 

I know run on sentence counters, relax that is it. 

This year while reading the New York Times obits I came across one that shouted out loud.

Dr. Shigeaki Hinohara a Japanese physician was listed. He lived until 105. He cautioned against gluttony and early retirement and vigorously championed annual medical checkups, climbing stairs regularly and just having fun. 

So as we -At A Glance- our 20chai weekly appointment book let’s replace “wishful drinking” with “wishful thinking.” Oh and by the way, Yes hello American Express. That charge was a real purchase. Yes, I bought the whole store. Uh huh, yep the whole store. It’s the store where I bought the Basket, the one I put all my eggs in. Eight, yes, eight of them hatched. Alevei-

When the leaves were orange and the living was easy. What does the tooth fairy do with all the teeth? Why are the people in the front of the picture so much bigger than the people toward the back? Out of the mouths, when life was oh so mellow. 

We bought our first pair of silk stockings which were to be held up by a stretchy pink and white striped  garter belt. The days of Ozzie and Harriet, Susan Lucci and Soupy Sales. 

We re-dialed after our friends line was busy the first time and screeched with excitement, Conrad Birdie style, over our anticipated coed- girl/boy party that evening. After we sat under a hot dryer with beer can sized rollers in our hair we brushed away the fumes from our eyes left by aqua spray. The decision to curl our hair rather than iron it straight was a good one, our hair came out just right. Getting ready “Was” the excitement. Our new madras blouse and alpaca sweater hung prominently in the front of our closet right above our shiny, new cordovan colored weejuns. Bright, new Penny, dated 1967 heads up in place.

A touch of revlon blush, a glimmer of light pink lipstick proceeded a spritz of Ambush and we were on our way. With dejavu on my breath I can still recall euphorically how it felt when I unbuttoned the wooden clasps that kept my new Loden green PeaCoat in tact. The boys gathered on one side of the room as the girls sifted through the 45’s on the other. At this point there was no bottle to spin in sight. Would the Angels sing tonight as our soldier boys danced under the Blue Moon? 

The specialty years of pre-teening had a wonderful life of its own. We made room for our daydreams laced with Johnny Mathis lyrics. Our Barbie and Ken’s were repositioned and left to fetch for themselves in the back row of our minds. In the still of the night I hold tightly to the moments that Jay and the Americans knew were Magic.

Upon your welcome Dear Kamala,
The object of our desire
For FOUR too many years
The world was set on fire
We welcome so your valor, we’re delighted by your charm

In the absence of our hugs
We’ll extend to you our arm
The moment when your hand, was placed upon the Bible
We sighed a huge relief
We know there is no rival
You’ll champion our causes
Brava Sista you are strong
We’ll sit back in our seats
We trust you can’t go wrong
So ripe for welcomed changes
You’ve raised the bar by octaves

Dedication blended with wisdom
Your credence our adoptive

So today, a new beginning, we cried Relief through tears

We welcome Madam Vice President

Our blessings to the next FOUR years!