“Wasn’t it yesterday we used to laugh at the wind behind us? Didn’t we run away and hope that time wouldn’t try to find us? We might not have tomorrow, but we had yesterday.” And the memories linger on.

We all got the memo. We showed up brought a wing and a prayer in hope that revisiting the site of our youth would play out without too much disappointment. The evening more than overrode the old adage “you can never go home.” We theoretically put on our tennis sweaters, madras shirts and dexter’s mentality and double hugged each other.

With cataract improved vision we entered the time machine and there we were, the place the cafeteria at PHS, the late 60’s only obvious difference was cocktails replaced chocolate milk.

And so the juke box of our past, that held all our secrets, preconceived notions and memories of who stood with who before the bell rang and our days began, was replaced with the here and now.

The beauty of last eve was we were all one. We talked over each other, left quick catch up stories mid stream to get up and sit next to another very familiar face. Perhaps our personas remain in tact but our storied lives over the past “50” holy mackerel years have added the depth and Kodachrome patina that adds to our allure, our glow.

We held on tightly to the remember when’s and were equally glad to share pictures of our children and grandchildren. The sense was that we were on a veritiable speed date, get all you can at the supermarket game before the buzzer sounds.There were no whispers, only out loud emotional confessions of how very thrilled we were as we looked around the table and stole visual moments of our youth. “So do you think there were other towns like Passaic that offer this kind of welcoming,”was the ever present buzz throughout the night. Was it something in the Passaic River, or Rutts relish? Perhaps Awful, Awfuls or the steak sandwiches on Friday nights at The Bonfire in Paterson. We marveled at how well we looked in the absence of not too much Botox. There was no height requirement to get on the ride and exhume a very big piece that fills the shadow box on our mantles.

My take away as I debrief the evening was how easy it was to pay subtle attention to who ordered the dressing on the side, as we were really all there for the main course. I’ll double down this time and go for seconds. “Oh what a Night.”

Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon. When you really 12 step it and “accept the things you can not change,” life becomes less myopic and you open up room for pure imagination.

We took our subscription seats last eve at the 92Y and were dazzled by an evening filled with splendor and joy. Lyric and Lyricists, an old friend of ours, has been a go to eve over the last 20 plus years . Lynn Ahrens, an unknown to us was the featured lyricist and host. She displayed her extreme talent and unfurled her bag of goodies song by wonderful song. Stephen Flaherty is her writing collaborator.

Their early collaborations began with award winning jingles like, “what would you do for a Klondike Bar?” They’ve put words and music to the well known 70’s Schoolhouse Rock television series, Rocky, Ragtime, Seussical the Musical, Anastasia, Once on this Island to name a few inscriptions of Tony’s on their mantle.

A favorite take away was a song “Love who you Love “from “A Man of No Importance,”

We all walk a different walk, no excuses when it comes to hoop dreams realized. We are finally living in a time where gender sensitivity,

living our truths, wearing our core outside in is no longer the exception. As we march the same march with a uniformed cadence, stake our claim for an enrichment of choice and equality what is unacceptable is skipping a beat and becoming loosely associated with our part in helping to put a means to a welcomed end. RIP Sonny the sweet boy Scott.

Notorious for her handcrafted, crystal clutches, bag designer Judith Leiber died over the weekend at the age of 97. The accessories designer whose work was favored by multiple First Ladies, was known for her tongue-in-cheek approach to bag design.

Her husband of 72 years Gerson Leiber died a few hours later. She was a holocaust survivor, married Gerson, an American soldier during World War II and moved to New York. She lived a “jeweled” life and entertained our eye through the fanciest of the fanciest hand bags. The cafe society ladies could be seen sporting them on the tables of Grenouille and Cote Basque during the Jackie O year’s. In random episodes of Sex in the City they were highlighted as arm candy to exemplify deliberate signs of wealth and wonder. Our take away was “wondering” how they came up with the thousands of spare change dollars to purchase one, or more. What a life, from the outside in. What a blessing head on. A Survivor who was blessed with an amazing eye for detail displayed through her artistry and  a 72 year marriage that lasted till the last day they both passed away. Cut to…

There are some locations that never make it. The corner of 1st and 79th Street has housed one restaurant after another. Every time we think the new sign that went up, looked promising we pass again and the lights are dimmed, sign down.

And then the Jim McMullen (no credit cards taken) on to Atlantic Grill spot on 3rd Avenue flourished until now as the building is being torn down to build condos.

So the take away question of the day—is the success of the Judith Lieber cocktail a mixture of overcoming the fallout of devastating-beginnings, hard work and extreme talent with Lady Luck poured on top or is it that she  made the very best of her “location” whether it was in the ghetto basement with 60 other holocaust survivors or the front room at La Grenouille, where her hand bags are perched on tables in statue-like fashion? If you find yourself in a paper bag today, make your way out, put up a new sign and put a cherry on top!

Rise early, have a tan, collect things and have hobbies. Advice imparted many years back by an older, wise gentle person who wreaked with gravitas. So I started collecting book marks. It all began as a kid when we drove to Florida and stopped at South of the Border in South Carolina. It was plastic and had a picture of a sombrero. I added two more one from Williamsburg Virgiinia with a picture of our founding fathers. My third came from a school trip to Old Museum Village in Monroe, New York. That one I clipped to the top of the page of my Nancy Drew adventure.

On a random rainy day when I feel I’ve lost my place in my book I look through my collections. Flipping pages to see what happened next, albeit antiquated is still my choice of read. The absence of loosing battery, with no clicks or beeps and nothing to plug in to find out if the protagonist gets pulled over on the road for texting is my slow down, regroup time.  I pause the haunting thoughts, turn the beat around and as my Bubby would say, “look the other way mamala.” Metaphorically with the rapid pace of the progression of time, on the days that feel endless with emotional clutter how cool would it be if in an etch a sketch erase style we could come up with a resolve. In Louis Armstrong’s “wonderful world” when he heard babies cry and watched them grow he knew they’d learn more than he’d ever know and he said to himself “what a  wonderful world.” So here’s to the days before unplugging, rebooting, memes, twittering, emoticons or cyber bullying. As the dots come dancing in response to a text, sometimes hours later, with no audible voice, no inflections and a smiley face replacing a giggle I pray for the millennial’s and our grandchildren a collection of bookmarks where they can find their place even if their battery wears out.

Take care of something before it gets harder to. Teeth cleaned by a hygienist and skin moisturized in your 20’s and 30’s etc. Don’t fall! Follow through on projects, job searching and doctor follow ups. As a warrior of aging I learned a lot of stuff. Some good, some not. Still learning that everyone wants to be valued, not just bottom lined. People value what is real. Pay a little more attention. Use your talents. They’re real and important. They give you a head start on a leg up. Legs up are good luck.  Take advantage of peek moments. 

You get to start before the whistle blows. And Luck can never be overestimated.  Does it always work out? No! The things  on Jerry Springer are life’s hyperboles at their worst.. The things that continually warm your heart, and make you feel like you never get enough of, well… sign up for 10 years at a time. When you get the chance to experience “proud” let the buttons pop on your shirt. Feeling proud adds healthy time, and you’ll need it. Find out what you’re capable of and double down. Vast and joyful are destinations. Prop yourself up with things that add to your  physical and emotional strength. Make dinner parties, feed people and use your good China. Portion control your obsessions. And then keep doing what you are doing because Whose Life is it Anyway?

Full service grandchild care- services include – pick ups and drop offs- after school activities in family friendly, child proof home.  Full supplies available for afternoon of fun. We sport 600 magna tiles, Hundreds of planes, trains and automobiles. Dolls, stuffed animals and sticker books galore. Includes, varied snacks and apple juice. Easy dinner if you are working late. Example -veggie nuggets and penne with pasta sauce secreto a la Gino’s style- a big hit. We offer art lessons-and school art project help. We instruct in mixed media, collage lessons, design your own place mats, write a short story. We’ll escort your child to hockey, tennis lessons, basketball and cheer from the sidelines. As experienced gardeners we offer instructions in basic planting on our terrace. Overnight to sunflowers. All ages welcomed. 12 plus years full time, hands on experience. References upon request- includes reviews from satisfied and happy to return often clients. 

Call us – it couldn’t hurt. 1-800 Grand-Parents!

Positions available- experience in loving children. Our motto “we wish this on everyone.”

When people are your acquaintances- the bar is lowered, whether or not the expectations are high as a kite. When family members are of acquaintance status you need to shift gear, reel back in and take a layer off cause no matter what you’re gonna sweat. Wow, so much for all your first friends. Can’t like it, don’t dig it, will never understand it. I thought it was a built in I have your back and you have mine. Ok then we move to the next room, forget the next table. We learn to put on protective gear, don’t forget a helmet. We check for spiders, boogeymen under the bed and check the yes column for false hopes. The meant to be’s kick out and you learn to expect a substitute teacher daily. Time has a way of one day propelling us forward and the meant to be’s show up with babka and hugs. Embrace the peeps who stay by choice. Expectations are overrated at any age!

Dear Stress-  You’ve had your way with us. We caved, gave in and took the stomach issue that was on your “shiz” list. The ravage that you create by just showing up and worming your creepy little self into us is disgusting. Just for today we got it under control. We are kinda done with the good and the bad. Bring on the good. We’ll begin with a pastrami on rye, well done fries. Dessert- a ring-ding, a yodel, a couple of yellow peeps, some red licorice and a large yoo- hoo. The only doctor we want to see at our proverbial table is Dr. Brown. He promised to be bring the diet cherry soda. Btw we’ll have a side of Beach with that. Buy the daffodils and make it a good one! Hope to see you at Rutt’s later.

What a great time in life for grandparents to meet children they get to hang with, help realize their strengths and give unconditionally to. Win/Win! What a great time in ones life to have young kids around a lot. Silly, Strong  Smiles. Alliteration Squared.  

What a great time in a kid’s life to have formidable, grown ups (most of the time) who have time and experience on their side to have sifted out what most matters. “Why it’s almost like being in love.” So as the questions get answered and the young minds get going we know this time spent, whether you are the kids or the grandparents is some kind of wonderful. One slice after another we treat ourselves to the days that are most meaningful Hallmark card style. Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot?  Passover celebrates the exodus, the freedom from slavery of the Children of Israel from ancient Egypt that followed the ten plagues. The gelt increased for finding the Hafikomen, we upt the ante exponentially through prayers for not only our grandchildren, great nieces and nephews, cousins and friends,

but for every child to just make it through the next day of school. During  this holiday season in light of the maelstrom at Parkland let’s not sweat the process of all becoming zealots and give away our wishes, hopes, prayers and order up for the next generation over easier.

Looking for someone to go back in time with. The days when no one In your immediate family got Cancer. The days when “hide and go seek” meant fumbling your way onto the floor of a shoe clad closet. Remember when Hostess and Sara Lee were your go to tarte tartin? Or perhaps the simpler times where a doctors appointment consisted of merely a pricked finger and a height check. No ominous machines in site. How bout when loss applied to a Spaulding ball under a parked car? What happened to only two apps. on the cell phone, Date and Time and much longer battery life. How bout before you couldn’t get into trouble sending a text to the wrong person? Remember when call waiting was a daily rush? Actually the simple act of communicating without thumbs. So on just one of these “rainy days” let’s treadmill our way to coming out when you hear the words ” I found you,” or “tag you’re it.” We will wait to hear the real story about how United Airlines banned women from wearing leggings on flights. So for today let’s get out of our comfort zone. Mix a little nostalgia and know that somewhere mid-day the sun will come out and we won’t have to wait for a better tomorrow.