And so what is “right” about saying good-bye to a shared lifetime with your father? We love, we share and we come closest to merging our beings with our parents. One day we wake up and we are finalizing the deal, closing shop and spinning into a stratosphere of the unknown. Our father/our life. I say why to a wonderful, long , well-lived life and no more of it. I struggle to find what closure means when you never want to say good-bye with an unimaginable finality. What about wanting another bite of that piece of cake, seeing one more foreign film or giving one more toast at your table of choice?
Sandy, made the pass throughs-destinations. His enthusiasm never wavered. Whether he was welcoming a grandchild into the world, or showing Francine scarfs to choose from at Chicos- he Gleamed.
We talked in one of our forever moments about days like yesterday. We speculated and even tried to calculate the intensity, the pain. With no warning or handbook for the “grave” emotionality the day offers we become flooded with memories. We want to save the metaphorical buttons on their beloved blazer and in fact the blazer. We’ve celebrated our worlds, we’ve divided our sorrows and our journeys go on. I hold our long, well lived and challenging love for each other in our special place that perhaps only we understand- as no one else is navigating our ship, at times our lifeboat. I wish for everyone that run on sentence that never ends.