Repost for That Nostalgic feeling

~ arosebyanyothername2016 ~ Leave a comment

We didn’t have cotillions but we felt like debutantes when we put our gold circle pins on our white blouses with Peter Pan collars. In the days of villager sweaters, Ladybug pins and capizio, we felt so grown up when we fastened our new silk stockings to our pink and white stripped garter belts. You with me ladies? How bout papagallos, Jonathan Meyer sweaters with a madras collar unfolded at the neckline? Hot stuff indeed.  Wait, the first day we debuted our baby bead bracelets encasing our names was certainly our defining moment. Then we had “game.”With our baby beads cozied up next to our gold bangles we were bound to have good luck forever. 

On the weekend we went for the tennis sweater and penny loafer look- dexters and weejuns our happy go to’s. Oh those days of firsts, of beginnings we remember with kindness and delight. What could be better than a pink or yellow mohair sweater with a coordinated skirt and matching pappagallos? The excitement, Big, Huge. In the sixties we were fashion plates as we walked out the door in our loden coats or pea jackets to head over to third ward park. We would convene around Tom Sabas truck and hung out with our group. The allure of Passaic in the sixties has lasted our lifetime. Can you say right place, right time? See you at Ginsburgs, I heard they got new color bangle bracelets.

Live Your Happy in The New Year

~ arosebyanyothername2016 ~ Leave a comment
Dear 20chai plus one-
As I sat down to reflect upon the past year I revisited what I penned last Dec. 26. The outstanding news this year is my Nini, for those in the know, niece Ali regained her health and is out there louder and stronger than ever. Move over Gloria. Thank you Dear G-d. My Jackie girl, another #niecestopieces is about to give birth to Bella’s baby brother. BH! Rachel is  moving her way to the top of the Pot in the land of Milk and Honey. We were blessed to add more joy to our heart’s  as we prayed as two young grandson’s davened their way to manhood. We reaped pleasure as We watched our family and friends enjoy another go round knitted together by miracles. One of my take away quotes is wisdom Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s imparted. “RBG often repeated her mother’s advice that getting angry was a waste of your own time. Even more often, she shared her mother in law’s counsel for marriage that sometimes it helped to be a little deaf. Cut to repost. 
Maybe this time we’ll win. We make the promises, we pump up the expectations and we pass by the in winter only Mallomars at the supermarket.
“When a child loves you for a long time, not just to play with but REALLY loves you, you become Real. Does it hurt?” Asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.
A favorite quote from a most favorite children’s book, The Velveteen Rabbit ( or How Toys Become Real) by Margery Williams. 
So once again we try to brush away the sadness that takes away riches. We know for certain laughter especially when it involves the belly adds life to your years. Norman Lear, who is still going strong at 95 years young, believes as he was moving on up to the East Side with Maude and Archie and Sandford’s son that the “Good Times” even if they are  “One Day at a Time,” add years to your life. 
I know run on sentence counters, relax that is it. 
This year while reading the New York Times obits (MYOB) I came across one that shouted out loud. 
Dr. Shigeaki Hinohara a Japanese physician was listed. He lived until 105. He cautioned against gluttony and early retirement and vigorously championed annual medical checkups, climbing stairs regularly and just having fun. 
So as we -At A Glance- our 20chai weekly appointment book let’s replace shopworn with well seasoned. Oh and by the way, Yes hello American Express. That charge was a real purchase. Yes, I bought the whole  store. Uh huh, yep the whole store. It’s the store where I bought the Basket, the one I put all my eggs in. Eight yes, eight of them hatched. Minchun by you. B9F12037-C78E-47DF-B272-F487AED4BC1E

Melancholy and Marvelous

~ arosebyanyothername2016 ~ Leave a comment
As I often theme my writing with the concept of “just do it now” I am traditionally reflecting back on the year just lived. Some days our get up and go is pro forma. Our time to make the donuts occurs in a knee jerk fashion. Some days our knee jerks. Our Bubby Chicken, for those in the know- phrased the difficult times with a “just look away mamala.” Oh Bubby, I believe now more then ever, that your  schmaltze and sugar laden food helped add wisdom to your 95 years. You didn’t exercise, but you never sat down. You worked the majority of your life and when you stopped formally working you worked at whatever you did. As you gathered your loved ones around the table, your emotional nutrition sustained us and your cooking created memories that still linger. We talk about your baking as treasures. We reminisce about your traditions and their intensity is still palpable. How lucky my sisters and cousins were to have Our Bubby Chicken. So at this time of year, as we turn our calendars forward, why not exhume your Grandma, Grammy or Bubby memories. Hanging with her babies and watching them grow into themselves was her Pilates, her group therapy and our legacy. So Bub, here’s to our days gone by. We carry you in our hearts and tapping into your Sechel gives us reasons to believe,  especially when we loose our way. And by the way I spend more time  “looking the other way,” as my knee jerks.

Melancholy and Marvelous

~ arosebyanyothername2016 ~ Leave a comment
As I often theme my writing with the concept of “just do it now” I am traditionally reflecting back on the year just lived. Some days our get up and go is pro forma. Our time to make the donuts occurs in a knee jerk fashion. Some days our knee jerks. Our Bubby Chicken, for those in the know- phrased the difficult times with a “just look away mamala.” Oh Bubby, I believe now more then ever, that your  schmaltze and sugar laden food helped add wisdom to your 95 years. You didn’t exercise, but you never sat down. You worked the majority of your life and when you stopped formally working you worked at whatever you did. As you gathered your loved ones around the table, your emotional nutrition sustained us and your cooking created memories that still linger. We talk about your baking as treasures. We reminisce about your traditions and their intensity is still palpable. How lucky my sisters and cousins were to have Our Bubby Chicken. So at this time of year, as we turn our calendars forward, why not exhume your Grandma, Grammy or Bubby memories. Hanging with her babies and watching them grow into themselves was her Pilates, her group therapy and our legacy. So Bub, here’s to our days gone by. We carry you in our hearts and tapping into your Sechel gives us reasons to believe, especially when we loose our way. And by the way I spend more time  “looking the other way,” as my knee jerks.

One Season Following Another…

~ arosebyanyothername2016 ~ Leave a comment
What were your very good times In Life like? Did loving your babies so much counteract anything bad that came your way? Did graduating with your dream degree take you to the moon and back? CEO, CFO, make your own hours? Meeting your soul mate and hanging together for what always feels like a very long time? Realizing through lots of hard work a Great job that gave you lots of satisfaction. Sometimes your pleasure to achieve, sometimes tiring. 
How bout having grandchildren if you never had your own kids and having fun? This President, lot’s of holidays and all the emotions that come with them; even re-reading  The Little Prince again doesn’t help.  Ok then! You can drink Vodka and say screw it somehow things always work out. And then there’s creating new routines, shake things up by traveling, and always appreciating what you have.  And so I ask the question so what were your very good times in Life like? Happy Holidays! 

One Season Following Another…

~ arosebyanyothername2016 ~ 3 Comments
What were your very good times In Life like? Did loving your babies so much counteract anything bad that came your way? Did graduating with your dream degree take you to the moon and back? CEO, CFO, make your own hours? Meeting your soul mate and hanging together for what always feels like a very long time? Realizing through lots of hard work a Great job that gave you lots of satisfaction. Sometimes your pleasure to achieve, sometimes tiring. 
How bout having grandchildren if you never had your own kids and having fun? This President, lot’s of holidays and all the emotions that come with them; even re-reading  The Little Prince again doesn’t help.  Ok then! You can drink Vodka and say screw it somehow things always work out. And then there’s creating new routines, shake things up by traveling, and always appreciating what you have.  And so I ask the question so what were your very good times in Life like? Happy Holidays! 

Judy-ism

~ arosebyanyothername2016 ~ 4 Comments

How about the  thin line between a Dream and a nightmare. In one second a life altering experience can swing by, raise it’s head and say tag you’re it. So for today as we welcome the season of celebrating let’s flip the switch, bring down the House with laughter and fine tune the probability that all will be ok. People often tell me I live in a fantasy world, I highly suggest you join me. Oh and by the way perhaps stop hanging around the people who take “happy” out of things. 

13 going on Forever

~ arosebyanyothername2016 ~ 1 Comment
From bris to bar mitzvah in the blink of 13 years. If I had to choose an activity from the age of 53-66  I would choose the one that showed up on my doorstep and rang my bell. Ready, set go. As a dear, wise, forever friend said to me “you can make this anything you want.” Well, with no rule book in hand, I unzipped my heart, opened my arms, turned up the emotional settings and hit the ground running. I was often presented with a slippery slope as is the case when  player cooperation determines the means to a successful end. The emphasis was set to fun. I threw in a heaping spoonful of sugar in Mary Poppins fashion to help the medicine go down. I was the playful, protective, snack enabler, all the while overseeing the art project brigade. We diapered, pampered and cherished as we clamored memories into the overstuffed portions of our hearts. I greeted Club Gomberg  with the same line each time, shouted from the kitchen – “who’s here?” I couldn’t wait for them to come and was never happy to see them go. I let them know all were welcomed and the more the merrier. I mean 8 is not enough, with all due respect to Dick Van Patten and Betty Buckley. I spun it differently. Our cabinets held the “regulars,” as they were called. I got called to task if I mixed the sauce on the pasta not remembering for a split second just which kid liked it on the side. This should  be my biggest mea culpa. On the nights of sleepovers, we would close the blinds, and it would be the stars, the moon and us. These years added years to my life as I was adding a slice of life to theirs. Even during times when not exactly everything played out to being able to name that tune, we put the mishap aside as we know “good prevails.” In the game of bridge finding the right 8 card fit depends greatly on how your partner plays his cards. In this case the  deck was stacked in our favor. Our good- byes for now were always with the look of when will we do it again. I’ll take how would you like to see the next thirteen years of your life play out- by hitting the replay button and dance like everyone is watching.

They came to have fun! Thousand Oaks

~ arosebyanyothername2016 ~ 1 Comment

Words by Joni Mitchell

Rows and flows of angel hair

And ice cream castles in the air

And feather canyons everywhere

I’ve looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun

They rain and snow on everyone

So many things I would have done

But clouds got in my way

I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now

From up and down and still somehow

It’s cloud’s illusions I recall

I really don’t know clouds at all

Moons and Junes and ferries wheels

The dizzy dancing way you feel

As every fairy tale comes real

I’ve looked at love that way

But now it’s just another show

You leave ’em laughing when you go

And if you care, don’t let them know

Don’t give yourself away

I’ve looked at love from both sides now

From give and take and still somehow

It’s love’s illusions I recall

I really don’t know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud,

To say “I love you” right out loud

Dreams and schemes and circus crowds

I’ve looked at life that way

But now old friends they’re acting strange

They shake their heads, they say I’ve changed

Well something’s lost, but something’s gained

In living every day.

I’ve looked at life from both sides now

From win and lose and still somehow

It’s life’s illusions I recall

I really don’t know life at all

I’ve looked at life from both sides now

From up and down, and still somehow

It’s life’s illusions I recall

I really don’t know life at all

Two lives to Live-

~ arosebyanyothername2016 ~ 3 Comments

Dear Ordainer of Weddings and Funerals. Would we still have tried as hard? Perhaps we would have given it more effort.

Please stand on that long line over there. That’s the one that says “Weddings and Funerals only.” You don’t see it? It’s the longest line in the room. The shared celebrations and the pool your sorrows with tones of mandatory invites and show ups.

The terms Kismet, Destiny and Beshart offer the concept of “the meant to be’s.” How much does luck or chance factor into who we go the distance with? We were raised believing our family of origin and blood relatives are the people who will be our first and forever friends. Does forever mean until the holiday meal is over or when someone moves off the block?

Early on we come to learn Holiday Anxiety can exist all year long .The dread of the were they really meant to be’s too often become the “do we have to’s?”

As social media has connected us to our past, we have become voyeurs in the lives of the people we met through our “chance” encounters. Our Book of Life.  Reunions, cousin clubs and catch up events offer the second time around opportunities. If we try hard can we champion our first time around defeats and become the laureate of second chances?

The trepidation of “will we be understood” and the “will they like us feelings” enter the room before we do. Phew, we got that over with is the relief emotion as we feel the  rapprochement went really well.

So we learn back to the future isn’t always in the canasta cards. Equally,  the surprise of the well blended double date shows up.  We walk away, look at one another and think yes, a take two would be very nice.

On Thursday the pharmacist at Duane Reade referred to the type of flu shot he was administering to us as the “upper classman” strain. We thought what a gentle way of saying senior discounts accepted.

So as a member of that category we got the shot, took our senior day discount on our over the counter Nexium and went home to pack for our snowbird winter in Florida.

My take away is, we can dwell on missed opportunities and bemoan our fate about family members who have become strangers. Or, we can knowingly look across the table, perhaps the seat next to us at the movies and believe those are our “meant to be’s. Make it a reach out to someone you love day. I just did.