The ultimate touchstone of friendship is not improvement, neither of the self nor of the other; the ultimate touchstone is witness, the privilege of having been seen by someone and the equal privilege of being granted the sight of the essence of another, to have walked with them and to have believed in them, and sometimes just to have accompanied them for however brief a span, on a journey impossible to accomplish alone.
We are Wonder Women. We wonder how time flies so much more quickly nowadays. It seems as if watermelon, cantaloup filled with cottage cheese (shout out to Linda Dietz) iced coffee and new white Keds sneaker season lasted ad infinitum. Buying Brand new blue loose leaf folders, colored tabs to divide social studies from algebra and colorful pencil holders came less quickly. We looked forward to wearing our new first day Villager outfit that sported our circle pins. Did Ginsburgs and Wechslers sport alpacas and madras blouses second week in July? Who remembers new T.V. Shows being advertised in July? This summer June and July lasted 10 minutes. We sprinted activities we missed out on last year. Our dance cards were jam packed with make up dates. Come on over and we will order in offered a new excitement. Did the street lights go on so much later in the summer than they do now? Father Time slow down Dude we need to take a breath. With self help books adding chapters on “recalibrating the soul” after being indoors for a year plus we anxiously pulled out plugs and hit the ground running. Temple is on Labor Day this year. This abbreviated summer we took long walks, did yoga on the beach and our games of play led the way to let’s have a cocktail before 5:00, add a little Guacamole toast and sum it up with red velvet cupcakes. Got shisito peppers anyone?
As long term memory takes center stage we fondly recall the days of climbing monkey bars, wearing very tight white rubber bathing caps to ward off the chlorine effects when we swam and how they added peanut butter to the ring ding formula and called them funny bones. So as we find ourselves in the first week of August with air pods in place (finally) I quote- Calling out around the world are you ready for a brand new beat.? Summer’s here and the time is right for dancing in the street. So just for today as we eat half of a well toasted raisin bagel with cream cheese we’ll sing along as Frankie Valli croons late December back in “63” and Betty Buckley reminds us to “let the memories live again.”
Hang around someone’s laughter
Your days will carry a bounty worth the price
Without much effort in the absence of
strife
We only live once, unfortunately not twice.
As adventures roll out 10 for a dollar
Make them work the first time, it doesn’t take a scholar
Visit arcades, take pictures, ice skate galore.
Fill the days with penny candy
You can’t ask for more.
Go bowling, have parties, Dream Big, and sing songs
As life marches forward bring memories along
Pick daises, make wishes, play kick the can
A Grand Life worth living – Dancing as fast as you can!
We’ve carried 57 years quite well
At times so trying, feeling less than swell
Who can boast a legacy so long
A friendship, a lifetime, our connection, our song.
Traditions and memories, our tables for two
When we started as teenagers our innocence so true
Celebrating and mourning, holding tight to the bond we’ve formed
Our friendship our secret of Lucky
A place where we belong.
Tonight we honor this daunting round number, as we have for half a century plus
Let’s toast our elongated togetherness
With beauty and laughter, and certainly no fuss.
My dear, exceptional Shoshanna
A woman I use to call Sue
Blessed to share this sweet moment “57” undoubtedly, who knew?
Living without mommy- and then it happened. The fear, the sorrow and the ultimate in never mores- Square in the face, the pain sits quivering. Hey, mom I published a book. Every word had you center stage. I read it aloud to you, as you were the only face staring back at me in the dark. Yes, I hear you now. Wow, really? thank you Mamala. 5 years later Soph and I am once again publishing and dedicating it to you. Focusing on your words gets me through on the murky days. Looking forward toward the prize in the “just have fun” ways is my biggest take away from our life long dialogue. Ok, hold on mommy it’s in the works. BH
“The radio and the telephone and the movies that we know may just be passing fancies and in time may go – but oh my dear our love is here to stay.”If I could clone “Grandpa Ira,” every grandchild from near and far would be inoculated with a locked in love and a fail proof, safe haven. Side effects Prodigious Proportions of sharing, caring and lingering on the sunny side of street.
One day we woke up and the miasmic film like filter that shrouds the cataracts of life was gone. Our foresight replaced hindsight allowing us to see the forest in spite of the trees. I wish this on everyone.
Definition of Recidivism-a tendency to relapse into a previous condition or mode of behavior; especially relapse into criminal behavior. Is there a fine line between addiction and recidivism? Let’s consider how popular prison romances are and seem in no danger of dying out. One theory is that prisoners create a literal wall against closeness. Conjugal visits preclude hanging out Sunday morning with Russ and Daughters and The New York Times. They certainly eliminate variegated activities i.e. strolling through The Whitney and eating french toast at Bubby’s in TriBeCa.Delving into a veritable pantheon of theories that depict the profile of personalities enraptured by the incarcerated is a thesis unto itself. Far from the cover for every pot concept. I recently viewed Jacob Ephron’s documentary on his mom Nora Ephron. I watched it for the second time, can’t wait to see it again. Oh, Nora you hated your neck and we loved you. We so related when Harry met Sally and they were Sleepless in Seattle. We followed as Julie and Julia Got Mail. Your self-deprecatory humor was comforting. And I quote “when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” Amen! The converse rings ever so true. When you understand that burnt pot roast doesn’t necessarily taste so good, negating that we grew up eating it, you throw it out and start again. Sensibility does not kick in by chance. Don’t wait for the next ship to come in to carpe diem.” Seizing opportunities and disregarding discouragements are our modus operandi.How many rapprochement’s succeed? When we get sick and tired of being sick and tired, we move to another table in search of our eight card fit. I know cliche counters, I know. Last eve a couple of The Julia’s – acronym for (Just Us Ladies Into Aging) had dinner. Our portfolio sports 57 years of round tables together. From our early days of sharing french fries at Wassers and Awful Awfuls at Bonds, we got another chance to embrace our history. “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim. It will be a little messy, but embrace the mess.” Nora Ephron you get us!
Goodbye Eugene- hearing the news of your passing has given us the “Biloxi Blues.”
Whether we were “Barefoot in the Park, while “Lost in Yonkers” or hitching a ride home from “Brighton Beach” we waited to hear Jonathan Schwartz “Playing our Song,” on WQXR American Standard Radio. Marvin Hamlisch played Carole Bayer Sager’s lyrics to his music with his particular Zip-a-dee-doo-dah enthusiasm. We swayed along and knew all the words. Your collaborations with Mike Nicols and Gene Zaks prolifically chronicled our youth. Oh Neil, we got hooked when we read your name amongst the credits as we watched Sgt. Bilko, played with such guile on The Phil Silvers show. We waited to hear your interviews with Joan Hamburg on 77 WABC to learn what play was next to be “Broadway Bound.” Her interviews typically came at the end of her show after the bargain shopping and food segments. (Shout out to Shelly Fireman, my forever friend and his spin on delicious Italian fare.) Even if we left the house to spatzere around our favorite thrift shops we heard your familiar very New Yawkish sounding voice broadcasted live. The two of you had a repartee we so enjoyed, although we considered you quite the “Odd Couple.”
We marveled at the big city duplex apartments with sunken living rooms, and gilded cage appeal that set the stage for many of your playbooks. Was Willy’s (Walter Matthau) apartment at the beaux arts Ansonia really that big? We thought it could possibly the best pad ever to play hide and go seek. Did Jane Fonda actually run around “Barefoot in the Park” as she pleaded with Robert Redford to try again to save their marriage? We wanted to live in her apartment as soon as we moved to the Village. We knew we didn’t want to live uptown and become a “Prisoner on Second Avenue.” We weren’t sure you could top the episode when Felix Unger walked into Oscar Madison’s cluttered apartment to try to get back together with Gloria. You certainly did when you portrayed the classic “Northeast distributor of Guilt,” and had Molly Picon threaten to keep her head in the oven over the troubles with her bachelor sons.
Our take away quote of yours is “ if you can go through life without experiencing pain you probably haven’t been born yet.” RIP Neil Simon- we’re sure you’ll be filling them with laughter in Suite 203-04 during your “Chapter Two.”
