Crying Out Loud

Chai 18 b-day today.

With make-up and hair in place I dressed for a blessed day for Liam’s right of passage. With a lingering picture of the first glimpse of him 13 years ago Grandpa Ira and I entered the shul carrying that memory in the forefront of my mind. This beautiful baby boy was about to ritualistically come of age. Yes indeed we were kvelling. With luck and determination I’ve come to know this young man in an intimate and charming way. We just love him. 

Dearest Liam a beautiful baby now on the bema making us beam with pride. He lead the congregation in prayer with a full heart of “right from wrongs,” and hopes and promises for what will continue to be a philanthropic and protective future. He prayed to HaShem to bless his immediate population and the world beyond his four walls with love, health and peace. He never begrudges his birthright and his nature is philanthropic and generous. He truly cares about how other people feel.

Cut to yesterday morning in Pittsburgh. A day of sabbath in a random synagogue engaging in a sermon of prayers and gratitudes as we did one month ago.

No Donald Trump-an armed guard in the Tree of Life Synagogue would not have prevented this assailant from storming in Nazi style and committing the deadliest rampage against a Jewish Community in our country’s history. The murderers life was spared and he was deemed in “stable” condition. As far from the truth as can be imagined.

We are mired in prayer today choosing to focus with eyes who spent formative years in the 1960’s when we walked into a Shabbat service, our school, the bowling alley, or the local candy store and banked on leaving with more than we came in with.

Definition of Recidivism-a tendency to relapse into a previous condition or mode of behavior especially relapse into criminal behavior.

Is there a fine line between addiction and recidivism? Let’s consider how popular prison romances are and seem in no danger of dying out. One theory is that prisoners create a literal wall against emotional closeness. Conjugal visits preclude hanging out Sunday morning with bagels and…from Murrays and The New York Times. They certainly eliminate variegated activities i.e. strolling through Central Park and stopping into a Pizza Parlor for a slice.

Delving into a veritable pantheon of theories that depict the profile of personalities enraptured by the incarcerated is a thesis unto itself. 

Last weekend we re-viewed Jacob Ephron’s documentary on his mom Nora Ephron. Oh, Nora you hated your neck, but we loved you.

We so related when Harry met Sally and they were Sleepless in Seattle. We followed as Julie and Julia “Got Mail”and found a new fix for “Heartburn.” Your self-deprecatory humor was relatable, and so comforting. And I quote “when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” The converse rings ever so true. When you understand that burnt pot roast doesn’t necessarily taste good clean up your rolodex. When it comes to people to share time with – one size does not fit all. And I quote Nora “ above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim. It will be a little messy, but embrace the mess.”. Make it a great Wednesday. You Got Mail.

Dear Prudence, won’t you come out and play and greet the brand new day. Who knows how long I’ve loved you, you know I love you still, will I wait a lonely lifetime, if you want me to I will. 

I think I’m gonna be sad, I think it’s today. The girl that’s driving me mad is going away.

Cause one day you’ll look to see I’ve gone but tomorrow may rain so I’ll follow the sun – 

So as I see it you gotta pay your dues if you wanna sing the blues cause – 

There is music they tell me in sweet fragrant meadows of dawn and dew, 

there is love all around but I never heard it playing no I never heard it at all till there was you. 

I wanna hold your hand as we cross Abbey Road, so don’t let me down-love me do. 

Please don’t twist and shout because she says she loves you and you know that can’t be bad. Anytime at all, all you got to do is call and I’ll be there. 

Cause when I’m home, everything seems to be right, when I’m home feeling you holding me tight. And if you want some fun take Ob-la-do-bla-da – Life goes on!

A Rising Tide Lifts All Boats

Farewell “Murder No Mystery.” Prodigious proportions of murders down the block and coming to your neighborhood and Not on the big screen. On the street you’ve walked home to with no thought of not making it to your front door.

We are reminded (one year ago today) of Lt. Alison Russo who was laid to rest. Her father said it best through his pain “my daughter was fatally stabbed and left on the ground like a rag doll.” 

She would have been the first to run and save her assailant, had he not stabbed her to her death first. RIP posthumously Captain Alison Russo. 

Where were you when Kennedy was shot? Our young, formative, developmental years were spent during the 1960’s-70’s. The innocence of knee socks and loafers, bell bottoms and clogs, pappagallo shoes, alpaca sweaters adorned with lady bug and circle pins, madras blouses, peter pan collars, baby bead bracelets, curl free hair relaxer (ode to that wide tooth, pink comb that came in the kit,) blue loose leaf binders (ouch to every time we got pinched trying to close the three rings together, Wrangler and Lee “dungarees,” and cracking our Wrigley’s spearmint or juicy fruit gum while listening to The Shirelles, Four Tops and Diana crooning to Dancing in the Street. Oh how somedays we miss Johnny Angel under a Blue Moon as the The Lion Slept. Yes, to Those Magic Moments.

We find comfort in exhuming our past when going forward needs a push. We learned to take the right action and let go of results. Respect your elders, do unto others and lend a helping hand. Basic adages that started on our front lawn. I know cliche counters but when the going gets…

Destroyed norms of human behavior were unimaginable as we stood stalwart with presidential reverence and pledged allegiance. 

Just for today, look over someone else’s shoulder and be careful not to trip over the homeless person sleeping on your corner as you are reading your messages on your phones about one more shooting around the corner and down the block. Prayers strong!

No Rhyme-All Reason. Yesterday when we were young.

Landlubbers, drindl skirts and bell bottoms. Tennis sweaters, weejun penny loafers and madras blouses. Typewriters, wax dipped monogram letter seals and loose leaf notebooks. Bon Bons- jujubes, chuckles and double bubble. Chocolate yoo hoo’s, dairy queen sundaes and red licorice strings. Dave Clark Five, Connie Francis and Charlotte Russe . Dobie Gillis, pink erasers, papagallos. Loden pea-coats vinyl jackets, mary jane patent leathers, and white shoe polish for ked sneakers. Apple Brown Betty in Swanson tv dinners, buitoni ravioli in the can and potato sticks. Sewing class, emenee toy trumpets and the morning show “Just for Fun.” The Mikado, Pirates of Penzance and Flower Drum Song. Won-ton soup, chopped suey and egg foo young. Peanut Butter and Jelly on Ritz Crackers with Campbells tomato soup. Spaldings, Jacks and 45’s. Army, Navy Stores, Kresge’s Dept. Store and Alexanders. Mohair sweaters, shift dresses, mini and maxi skirts, baby doll dresses, colored tights- stirrup pants. Science projects on Oak Tag, pencil sharpeners and No. 8 pencils. Revlon Rum Raisin lipstick and Mary Quant make-up. Shalimar, Joy, Ambush, jade east, english leather and Old Spice. Po-ke-no, parchessi and Simon. Bonanza, Gunsmoke and Wagon Train. Make it a throw back Saturday.

~

Dear Our New York, Our Friend.

The safety of your harbor.
Your crescent shaped appeal.
Could fill bottomless pit emptiness.
We really had some deal.
Your allure and all your glamour.
From every pillar to every post.
Almost on the daily you proved the consummate host.
The streets were jammed with clamour.
Central Park our landing pad of choice.
We rarely missed an opening.
So many opportunities to rejoice.
Shared songs at your great venues.
Danced on too many floors to count.

There never was a question.
You were where we did belong.

The seasons changed with such panache.
The leaves, the snow and the flowers they did bloom.
Our frowns would turn to smiles.
Never sat with doom or gloom.

Your restaurants encouraged our palette.
Started with foie grois ended with chocolate soufflé.
Never missed an opportunity to window shop and stray.
As we collected a lifetime of memories.
Full-filled so many dreams.
It’s time to say we’ll see you.
On the road our show we’ll take.
We are packing stacks of pleasure.
On the wonder you create.
Hit it.
“From the very heart of it New York, New York. If we made it here, we’ll make it anywhere… With ❤️

Nora Johnson wrote one of our all time favorite movies -The World of Henry Orient- The story is loosely based on her very New York City schooled at Brearley, luncheoned at Romanoff’s, tea at The Plaza Hotel life. She lived until she was 84.

With financial indulgences galore by luck and emotional limitations in abundance as a by product of a divorced home she struggled to manage a balanced and well integrated life.

She had three marriages, several children and grandchildren and attained a great deal of success through her well received books. Her third, late in life relationship turned/marriage came when she was 71 with a man who was 84.

The net/net on their years together was best summed up by her. And I quote- He had said I was his last, loveliest adventure and he brought joy and magic to my life. He died when he was 91 and I was 78. Only then did I start to get old.

Attached is a blog from April 27, 2016 – The World of Henry Orient.

Our dream away movie starring Peter Sellers as an eccentric concert pianist and two young Brearley-esque ingenues who groupie their way around New York City.

My friends and I had a crush on the entire movie. The friendship between Val and Gil served as the prototype for our best friendships and our shared tuna fish sandwiches with malteds stirred by long pretzels. It was based on a book by Nora Johnson written in 1964. The movie directed by George Roy Hill extrapolated the medicinal value of gal pals.

My friends and I had our own Henry Orient in high school. Mr. Schmoltze the Director of the all school musical was our McDreamy. With luck our earliest friendships have sustained throughout our lives and still touch us deeply. We have generationally embraced each others children and grandchildren – shout out to Jen and Brooke. Sometimes we call our friend just to hear her voice.

There is a treasured certainty in knowing we haven’t thrown each other out after all the tales of woe we’ve shared. Our discussions so much cheaper than therapy. We paint a picture, create a collage or write a poem inserting a compilation of shared pictorial memories. We used to borrow clothes and trade pocketbooks. Now we share medical advice. Here’s looking at you ladies. We got this. With certainty we know we will never “Walk Alone.” 

 

5784 we Stand and Pray for what’s in store.

Have we been naughty?

Remembering our nice.

Hoping this year is less riddled with strife.

We muster up energy.

Call on new tactics.

Add new behaviors.

We are willing to practice.

Let’s focus on attempting to better mistakes.

This time around with fewer retakes.

When faced with uncertainty,

Apply the rules we were taught.

Mix in loyalty, minimize fraught.

A New Year is dawning.

A new chapter begins.

Keeping our eyes focused.

The goal a – Win/Win.

A cup filled with laughter and a 

dose of measured passion.

Together is better- our one constant fashion.