Judy Gomberg puts a funny, heartfelt and humorous spin on being a boomer. She beautifully captures the songs of our lives as our memories grow longer, deeper and stronger.
Jeffrey Vetstein- veterinarian Donna Zitplitsky – Dermatologist Sandra de la Gaston- G. I. Specialist Marc E. Waxman – Ear doc
Jason P. Daily- urologist Gene F. Moller Dentist Carson (No)Moe Pain- Pain Doc Toknee -Armbromowitz- orthopedics Howard and Bo Tox – plastic surgery brothers Regin-a- and a Kitty Holestein- gyno sis-ters
On the precipice of change, we take two steps forward- one Big step back.
“I See Friends Shaking Hands- saying how do you do.”
When the leaves were orange and the living was easy. What does the tooth fairy do with all the teeth? Why do the people in the front of the picture appear so much bigger than the people toward the back? Out of the mouths, when life was oh so easy.
The days when Ozzie and Harriet made parenting look like a breeze and we were pretty certain Susan Lucci never used J-date or Match. Com to help find yet another husband.
We re-dialed after our friends line was busy the first time and screeched with excitement, Conrad Birdie style, over our anticipated coed- girl/boy party that evening. We left it up to Wally and Beaver to make sure there would be enough Fresca and Potato sticks. They were heavily endowed with the Cleaver organizational skills
The back ground sound on our portable radio as we primped for the evening was set to Cousin Brucie’s Saturday Night Rock and Roll Party.
We crooned to Build Me Up Buttercup while we sat under a hot dryer with beer can sized rollers in our hair. We were almost ready as we brushed away the fumes from our eyes left by Aqua Net.
The decision to curl our hair rather than iron it straight was a good one, it came out just right. Getting ready was the beginning of the excitement. Our new madras blouse, alpaca sweater and matching “skort” (remember?) hung prominently in the front of our closet right above our shiny, new cordovan colored weejuns. Bright, new Penny, dated 1969 heads up in place. Taps on the sole.
A touch of revlon blush and a glimmer of “coffee bean“ lipstick proceeded a spritz of Shalimar and we were on our way.
With dejavu on our breath we can still euphorically recall how it felt as we unbuttoned the wooden clasps that kept our new Pea Coats in tact.
We proudly walked in, en masse as if we were auditioning for the Miss Pre-Teen of America contest.
The boys gathered on one side of the room as the girls sifted through the 45’s on the other. At this point there was no bottle to spin in sight. Would the Angels sing tonight as our Soldier Boys danced under the Blue Moon in the Still of the Night? We snapped our fingers in unison to Brian Wilson’s tune-
“If you should ever leave me. Though life would still go on believe me. The world could show nothing to me. So what good would living do me? G-d only knows what I’d be without you. This just could have been the theme to the impending heartbreaks along our way.
The evening was a success as we twisted and shouted and moved around as we were invited to the dance floor to do the Loco-Motion.
The specialty years of pre-teening in the 1960’s had a wonderful life of its own.
We made room for our daydreams filled with Johnny Mathis lyrics and wondered if we would ever ride on a rainbow and sit starry eyed. We hold tightly to our memories of days where we would “climb way up to the top of the stairs and all our cares would just drift right into space.” All the while Jay and the Americans knew as the “lion slept tonight” those were our “Magic Moments.” Have a Good Day!
It’s 4:45 when we begin thinking about dinner. We have an hour to get ready.
We put on a new blouse and hope It won’t get a food stain on it. This is new. We walk out the door.
We’re on line at our go to restaurant of choice. Long line but we are in the door, getting closer to the table. We grab some after dinner mints at the counter and a couple of tooth picks while we wait. If we order the corned beef and it is stringy the toothpicks will come in handy. Oy, the beeper they gave us to hold just went off. We push through the crowd, disregard the dirty looks. We’re in and being escorted to our table. “Excuse me sir maybe you got a booth? My husband has a bad knee, is a lefty and needs to sit on the outside and with his leg facing out. TMI- Again a dirty look, alas we are sitting.
Here honey have a pickle, it’s a good mix and they have the sour tomatoes you like. We catch up with out friends about medical stuff and get it out of the way.
I point to my mouth as to signal our friend that a piece of coleslaw is stuck to her lipstick. Yup, not a good look at any age. So we open the menu of oh so many choices. Excited that the two sides with our main course we can “substitute” did you ever? A potato knish or potato pancakes instead of baked or mashed. Glad we swigged a little mylanta on our way back into the house because we forgot oh, well something. Our orders are in. Only took twenty minutes for four people to decide. Not like it is ever an easy order going through the book of choices. Unless you had a willy for something. Like you could taste it. “Saul my friend says to her husband of all the many items to choose from a hamburger deluxe with sweet potato fries is what you are getting.”Saul says to my husband, can you believe with everything going on in the world you would think if I want a hamburger it would maybe, just maybe once go unnoticed and not a gonza magilla. Do I tell her a side of balsamic dressing is not going to matter in her salad if she orders the fried chicken as her main?” Ok, so we get our food and only one of us returns something- a veritable miracle.
My friend sent her fried chicken back, she only likes dark meat. She says go ahead eat. Your meatloaf won’t taste good cold. So we talk over one another. We know every detail about their grandkids camp experience and how long they waited at the airport when they went to Aruba this summer.
The table is cleared, a new dessert menu is handed to us. Wait, oh my they have the Boston Cream Pie tonight. I ask my husband if he wants to share, I suggest four forks and one dessert. You would think I was taking their toys away. No, my friends husband Saul says I am getting my own. Under her breath I hear my friend whisper “ maybe get the jello, you ate every sweet potato fry. Then “ give a kick” he says to her- mind your own sweet potato fries, did I mention that you inhaled the potato pancakes like they were going out of style.
Goodnight, it was great seeing you we yell out the car window. Same time, same place- next week. We took the flyer at the door it says the specials are chicken in the pot or flanken. See you in the morning at water aerobics. Vayismir I am so full.
As you are on the way down traveling south past your new hip, you might bypass the pins and screws in your knee or perhaps an ankle.
Destination our newly coiffed toe nails. We stopped at “Dr. You Nailed This,” before we picked up six bialys to freeze from The Boys.
We change our shirt, put on some lipstick and get ready to meet our canasta group at Poppies for the early bird dinner/lunch for tomorrow.
We ask to have our table changed a few times as the A/C was blowing right on us. We put on our new cardigan sweater we got at the Flea Market on Sample Rd.
After we pool our medical updates and order a cocktail we ask for the bread to be heated. We then wait for 20 minutes until we see our waiter again. Ok then, the conversation ensues with a new pill for this, a new procedure for that. As long as our “funny bone” is intact- we got this. A tennis game, a round of golf a pilates class or two.
We acclimate to the “back nine” with our new cataract less foresight, becoming our new hindsight.
So just for today we will put on our prescription less rose colored glasses. We will go to the we got lucky dept. at Bloomingdales and be grateful when we get a text that a table opened up at the new Mediterranean restaurant on Federal Highway. They give us all the hummus and Baba ganoush we can eat as we watch the belly dancer shake her age appropriate belly fat from table to table. 😎 Next stop fro-yo to claim our free ( after ten times punched on the card) dessert.
Have a great Wednesday – aka senior discount day at Publix.
“We’re having such fun. We’re going golfing. We’re having such fun. And feeling fit. Isn’t it mad? We’ve never had so much fun—- Let’s quit.”
— Sondheim—1956 As an apprentice under Oscar Hammerstein. Consummate wordsmith brought words to the point of a rhyme. His work spanned theatrical lifetimes.
His sense of rhythm, was simply sublime.
His content dictated the form as a sentence, Turned a paragraph into a story through chimes.
Sinatra sent in the clowns and Bernadette Peters took a walk through the park with george.
Ambition only superceded by talent. Like when “good things get bettter/bad things get worse/Wait—I think I meant that in reverse.” He took us “Into the woods”
In good “Company” were we. Every theater lyric a short story, every line the weight of a paragraph you see. “A funny thing happened on the way to the forum,” with a “Little Night Music” And a “Gypsy” or three.
With “Passion” he composed the story, From the “West Side” of the street was the call. Dear Mr. Sondheim, in our memory, you will always stand Tall. You threw a lot of spaghetti and All of it stuck to the wall.
Is Everyone in the Building Making Stuffed Cabbage? It’s a Go to Humor kind of day.
“Oh G-d” (1977), The “2000 year old man,” enters the Pearly Gates Laughing. Estelle Reiner, his wife said it best at Katz’s Deli, “I’ll have what she’s having.” She was married for 64 yrs. to the controller at Rancho Conejo. 98 years funny, he certainly had “The Thrill of it All.” When Morey Amsterdam and Rose Marie reworded phrases to get the rhythm right on The Alan Brady show Carl Reiner called it a Wrap. We knew when Rob Petrie tripped into our living rooms each week on the eponymous “Dick Van Dyke Show” it was really his “Show of Shows.” Norman Lear’s line in Carl Reiner’s 2017 documentary on aging, “If You’re Not in the Obit, Eat Breakfast, was how he lived. So today Carl, we’ll have our coffee with cream and a little oatmeal in your honor. His credo was “ find your hammock and live in the now.” The transition of time in between “ok, it’s over, to what’s next,” is when his productivity kicked in. HBO featured the documentary- on demand it if you can. The cast of characters, the best of the best. Mel Brooks is hysterical, Dick Van Dyke dances, Norman Lear is brilliant and Carl Reiner’s direction and hosting ever so warm and welcoming. When it was filmed in 2017 they were all Nonagenarians. One thing distinctly portrayed in this work of long livers is that they were passionate and fell in love with lots of things. So Carl we imagine as you enter the pearly gates, we will hear you say to G-d, “so Divine One, if you were commanding a performance your timing was propitious as “The Russians are coming, The Russians are coming”- in this “Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. I will pass the baton on to my son Rob and remind him of the line written in 1963 for “it’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. “And in a democracy, it don’t matter how stupid you are, you still get an equal share.” RIP Mr. Reiner -well done.
Notorious for her handcrafted, crystal clutches, bag designer Judith Leiber died over the weekend at the age of 97. The accessories designer whose work was favored by multiple First Ladies, was known for her tongue-in-cheek approach to bag design.
Her husband of 72 years Gerson Leiber died a few hours later. She was a holocaust survivor, married Gerson, an American soldier during World War II and moved to New York. She lived a “jeweled” life and entertained our eye through the fanciest of the fanciest hand bags. The cafe society ladies could be seen sporting them on the tables of Grenouille and Cote Basque during the Jackie O year’s. In random episodes of Sex in the City they were highlighted as arm candy to exemplify deliberate signs of wealth and wonder. Our take away was “wondering” how they came up with the thousands of spare change dollars to purchase one, or more. What a life, from the outside in. What a blessing head on. A Survivor who was blessed with an amazing eye for detail displayed through her artistry and a 72 year marriage that lasted till the last day they both passed away. Cut to…
There are some locations that never make it. The corner of 1st and 79th Street has housed one restaurant after another. Every time we think the new sign that went up, looked promising we pass again and the lights are dimmed, sign down.
And then the Jim McMullen (no credit cards taken) on to Atlantic Grill spot on 3rd Avenue flourished until now as the building is being torn down to build condos.
So the take away question of the day—is the success of the Judith Lieber cocktail a mixture of overcoming the fallout of devastating-beginnings, hard work and extreme talent with Lady Luck poured on top or is it that she made the very best of her “location” whether it was in the ghetto basement with 60 other holocaust survivors or the front room at La Grenouille, where her hand bags are perched on tables in statue-like fashion? If you find yourself in a paper bag today, make your way out, put up a new sign and put a cherry on top!
arosebyanyothername2016 